Life...and Living It

so... about that Romanian cage-fighter

2012-01-15T23:07:00.003Z

Ok, so Nsoromma wanted to know more about the cage-fighter...

He was your typical white man on the hunt for something exotic... He looked at me like I was lunch!

So I agreed to meet him 7 overground train stops AWAY from my house (why do I do this?) and when I got there he immediately flagged down an approaching bus - here's the ensuing conversation-

Me: (nonplussed) errrr why do we need a bus? we're in the centre of town

Him: (nonchalant) Oh, to go to my house

Me: (sardonic) I'm not going to your house MATE, I don't actually know you, let's just get a drink here

Him: (slimy) Oh come on baby (Me: Baby?) I'm an events planner (Really?) so I've wine at mine, it's so annoying to have to buy it again outside

Me: (ghetto) Nah bruv, you must be loopy, what, are you taking me for a drink or what?

Him: (glowering) OK fine.

After this there wasn't much conversation, when I said "let's talk" he rolled his eyes, picked his nose and said "ok , 'talk' " (making inverted commas with his hands) In short it became...well difficult, especially when the hand tried to travel to ( as he put it) my 'strrrrrong thighs mmmm'

UGH, shudder with me readers, I high-tailed it outta there, gross.

He sent me two lewd messages then buggered off (Phew!) But as I said, it was cool to be on a date, and he wasn't evil or anything so never mind eh?

Anyway, since then there's been the sexy TWENTY YEAR OLD (who was really about 17) from Guadeloupe ( I didn't know 'e was a minor officer!), the old school and uni friend who is sweet but annoying and the new obsession. If you want to know more let me know, there's a lot to tell!

I am praying through all this, and God must have a sense of humour 'cos he is bringing me BARE jokes along this journey.

Anyone else got some dating jokes, disasters or successes? Let us know x

Friday's Teeny Weeny Afro

* Not how my cage-fighter looked...

In the slightest...

at all.

Best Thing In My Life

2012-01-14T20:22:00.001Z

First published on Baring Testament .

Hi all,

I know I've been MIA. But sometimes you just need me time. Down time, so sorry. But happy 2012 everyone! This one is gonna be a good one! Something has been sitting on me about last year, and I wanted to share. Despite not being here much last year. it was a good year for me and I thought I'd mention some highlights...they'll put this year into perspective...

On 31st December 2010 at church a wrote a list of five things. Very specific, that I wanted to begin in my life. And as I get each of them I'll let you know on here. I prayed to God for them, and believed in him to answer my prayers.

One of the things I asked for was a permanent job by the end of 2011, paying a minimum of £30,000. Considering I was in my first job, post-masters, barely any experience, earning £21,000, in the middle of a recession, on a temporary contract, it seemed beyond far from where I was then. Plus I was due to be out of contract at the end of January 2011. The team was full, and my manager was advising me on where to apply for jobs at my level. Maybe earning slightly more. £24,000 including London weighting looked reasonable.

So following my prayer I started looking for jobs in the region of £27,000...ambitious for my level, but with London weighting of around £3,000, that would bump me up to £30,000...just about.

Then an AMAZING thing happened. Three positions opened up in my team. One at £21,000 and two at £32,000. My manager encouraged me to apply for the one at my level, I was doing well, practically in-post and pretty much guaranteed it.

I didn't apply for it. I applied for one of the £32,000 roles...and I got it. First choice candidate with the highest score in the interview and application. And I was expecting to get the job around December as I had put a time-cap on my very specific prayer...it came in MAY. Plus I get a travel allowance bonus. It's funny...I was scrapping around to JUST make the mark for what I had asked God for and he gave me just so much MORE!

Another prayer I prayed after having just broken up with my boyfriend was that I want to meet and know who my future husband would be by the end of the year. I started to date someone pretty soon in the new year who I had known since I was about 13...comfortable. He was nice, sweet, attentive and INTO ME. Like really. He seemed just so proud to be by my side. And he was God-fearing. PRAISE GOD.

But then something AWFUL happened...I just clean went off him. Like completely. For no apparent reason. And he tried everything, and he tried SO HARD, to keep it going. But it died. Just like that.

In the meantime I was still in contact with a couple of ex's (I must stress, this was NOT in any way other than as friends from a distance), including the one I broke up with in December 2010. One from a few years ago, who is in his early 30s starts talking about settling down. A few months later he's clear its me he wants to settle with and starts trying to make a play for me. Then someone else I was crushing on HARD in 2010 starts talking the settling down line...

But AMAZINGLY, I got back with this Ex from December 2010 (since blogging was SPARSE at the time, he has yet to be mentioned on here...). We didn't push our relationship. Or try to define it. After breaking up we went back to the basics of our friendship and it just seemed to grow from there. I never saw it coming. He just seemed to come out with it one day when we were talking, that he wants to be with me...and I just thought, yes. That was around April and we are STILL very happy together. Even more AMAZINGLY we both took it seriously, so much more than first time around. He is the first man to have ever been introduced to my family as my boyfriend and he has been very well received. And I have been invited to meet his family too...

And funnily enough, it has been easier this time. Which NEVER happens when you get back with an Ex. When we first got together I kind of saw him as a time filler. A nice guy but not the man of my dreams. I find it truly amazing that he seems to be everything I ever wanted. And not in the least who I expected him to be. I have never been happier.

THEN 30th December 2011, he PROPOSED. All of a sudden my mind flashes back to the prayer I made and I think 'Oh My Days, really?!'. Saying yes was the easiest thing I have ever done.

God gave me EVERYTHING last year, He is truly the best thing in my life. And all the good I have in my life can be traced right back to Him. 2011 was magical for me. And it looks set to continue.

Image credits

I am TOTALLY psyched for 2012!!!!!

What did God do for you to psych you for 2012?

Chilling with Jill

2011-12-06T21:59:00.002Z

When was the last time you went to a gig? I mean a really good, hip swaying, foot tapping, sing-along-till-you're-hoarse gig? Last week, I had the pleasure of seeing Jill Scott. And believe me, the pleasure was all mine.

My fascination with Jill Scott was something that crept up from behind and caught me by surprise. It was actually my girl Sankofa that put Who Is Jill Scott? Vol.1 on my phone and practically force fed me Miss Scott's music. Her ability to manipulate words and make them mean what she wwants them to mean had me totally sucked in. The rest, as they say, is history.

So about three weeks ago when a colleague gave me the heads up about Jill Scott's UK tour (thank you Sandrine!) you could just imagine my excitement. That night, when I got home, I don't remember taking off my coat, or changing out of my uniform. I didn't pass Go, I didn't collect my £200, but headed straight for the laptop and logged onto ticketmaster.

This brings us up to last week. The date, 30th November. The time, 7pm. The place, the 02 Academy Brixton. We actually arrived at the venue at 6.30 to be met by a three man deep queue snaking around half of the building. The excitement started to bubble up inside me from then. I didn't care that I had to wait on the street, frozen to the bone for a good half an hour.

The show started with a DJ warming up the crowd with tracks from RnB's golden era. My man was laying on 90s track after 90s track from Biggie, The Fugees, Missy, Mary J Blige, Lil Kim, Tupac, Blackstreet...oooh, I was in music heaven! The crowd was great too - whether this is a positive reflection on Brixton or on Jill Scott, I don't know. But everyone was having a ball.

The lady of honour came on stage at 9 on the dot. Not a minute early, or a minute late. And there is something to be said about an artist that respects her fans enough to show up on time. She strutted on with a sure sexiness in every step. To put it in very Ghanaian terms, confidence be what?!

She got the party started with one of my favourite tracks, Shame from the new album Light of the Sun. And that was it. I was taken. Jill Scott's music had me seduced from the get go. We were also taken back in time with emotion laden tracks such as The Way and He Loves Me
(a sure favourite!)

What I loved about Jill was the fact that she engaged with the audience, and made us fall in love with her personality. My girl has a sense of humour! And this came shining out through her anecdotes which peppered her performance right till the end. And she did not fail to show us how powerfully feminine she really is with her Womanifesto and Rolling Hills.

This beautiful lady had us all captivated and eating out of the palm of her hand. Her voice which can be sultry and moody at one minute, and high and piercing the next is another story altogether. Trust me, you know it's good music when your thirty-something year old auntie can't stop moving.

I could go on for ages about the natural talent of this woman but I have to stop somewhere. So I'll leave you with this: it was a great night. Money well spent in my opinion. Money I would spend again and again and again to see this lady perform.

I was supposed to leave my top five Jill Scott songs, but that was too difficult. So let me say this: I love all of them.

P.S. Click on the title for a little surprise!

Dateline....

2011-10-30T16:31:00.003Z

Hello all!

I know it's been super long (sorry!) I'm sure that the posts will resume, although probably in sporadic and spaced-out intervals.

Just wanted to write a few quick pieces about, well, my recent dating experiences. I am recently coming out of a TWO YEAR drought/hibernation/coma whatever you want to call it concerning the opposite sex...after the to-ing and fro-ing with le martiniquais and all the mess that ensued, I have been keeping myself to myself.

However, following a barrage of weddings, I have decided to actively get back out there so I've recently been on one date with a Romanian-french cage-fighter (who used to be a spy of some sort...) and have been invited out by a uni friend this week, I have also been set up for a blind date...

Woohoo! I'm pretty sure I won't be seeing the cage-fighter again, but it was cool to be 'on a date' and I'm just going to try to enjoy my self.

I will be writing posts on future dates, including the most painful bits (as a form of catharsis) ...watch this space x

Ghollywood, Spare us the Details

2011-04-21T17:13:00.002+01:00

Hello LALI readers. Not too long ago, I was thinking about our beloved Ghana, and all the achievements we as her children can display like medals of honour. Afterall, was Ghana not the first sub-saharan african country to gain independence from the British Colony? And can we not boast about never having a civil war? And have we not welcomed great political and historical figures into our country such as Maya Angelou, James Baldwin and Barack Obama? The list of achievements is simply endless, and I could have sat there for hours on end, smugly ticking them off. It makes you proud doesn't it?

It seems we have so much to be happy about, yet we have allowed our film industry to evolve into a tatesless, cheap, over-sexed monster. Yes, I'm talking about you, Ghollywood! (Gosh, I hate that name!) I know most of the time art imitates life, and it's not as if I don't know that people don't have sex in Ghana. But I don't really need to see a campus babe performing fellatio on a randy sugar daddy to get the gist of a film. Once upon a time, our films were authentically known for being family friendly. Now, I'm finding the industry's shift to soft porn totally overwhelming. And the swear words too! The writers need to know that the word "fuck" does not sit well in a sentence of Ghana English at the best of times. I practically have to watch a film alone first before making the decision to watch it with others!

Personally I blame the Film Censors Board for not adequately giving the films their rightful age rating (or for allowing these films to be distributed at all!), the smarmy producers such as Abdul Salam Mumuni and Socrates Sarfo (Yeah. That's right.I said it!) And the desperate actors and actresses that are so willing to play in these degrading roles. (I think I will hold off from naming and shaming here. It could be someone's son/daughter!)

Let me not be unfair, there are a few writers/ producers who know how to deliver a great film. (You go Shirley Frimpong Manso and Leila Djansi!) And let me just throw in here that Life and Living It, written and directed by Shirley is one of my fave Ghana films)

Here are the top three films that go on Afrocentric's Ghollywood Wall of Shame.

1. The Heart of Men
2. Hot Fork (Even the name of this is just embarrassing)
3. Kiss Me If You Can

Can Ghana's film industry, please, for Heaven's sake, spare us the details? We don't need to see it. And can we please return to a time when our films were not cringe worthy and porntastic?

Ghanaian Londoners

2011-03-27T00:44:00.000Z

I hang my head in shame as I write this post; I know it has been a long time since I have put anything out there. I have had so much to share with you guys in the past couple of months but procrastination and a bit of laziness really have kept me from writing anything. Please accept my humble apology. But thank God for my girls Friday’s Afro, Nsoromma and Sankofa who has kept LALI going.
Now that you have forgiven me, can we move on? Thank you!

A couple of weeks, Sankofa and Nsromma agreed to attend a Ghanaian Londoner’s networking event with me, after (very gentle) persuasion. For those of you who do not know about Ghanaian Londoners, get to know. It’s an organisation created by our girl Adwoa Agyemang, whose main purpose is to connect Ghanaians in London, and friends of Ghana with each other.

My main reason for wanting to go was to support Adwoa. I believe in her vision and want to see it prosper. Also, I knew we would meet a host of interesting people. (Please feel free to define “interesting” in your own way). And believe me, we sure met an assortment of characters, such as the rather animated and eccentric gentleman (whose name I simple cannot remember) who was petitioning for the new Ghana passports to stay black, rather than the proposed green. (I know right. Green Ghana passport?! Yuck!)

Now to the good stuff! Because we did indeed come across some very good stuff. Firstly was the creator of Yaa Ataa Bags. A small enterprise specialising in bags, laptop sleeves and Ipod cases. They have a retro, or "sankofa" feel because they made from old African prints. Check out the merchandise here!The girls and I practically convulsed over the clutches. They are beautifully made, of good quality, and decently priced too!

We also met another talented young entrepreneur - the creative designer and owner of Yaa Ohene Wa Textiles. It's a fabulous collection of tailored dresses, shirts and jackets for men, women and children. Please check it out. I promise, you won't be disappointed.

My main reason for writing this (except to big up young Ghanaian Londoners doing great things for themselves) is to get us all networking and generally supporting each other. You'll meet a lot of weirdos on the way, but also a lot of like minded, motivated and totally inspiring people.

Anyway chaps, until the next time...

P.S. Happy B'day LALI!

Flashback of the Day: Donell Jones - This Luv

2011-03-15T22:41:00.004Z

I've always really loved this song and since I've convinced myself that spring has arrived in London Town (na lie-oo!), my play list has been updated accordingly.

This song feels kinna like spring time to me. It's got a good beat and catchy tune, but it's also got this anticipatory vibe to it, just like spring, it's brimming with promise...which is just how I feel right now (not that I'm brimming with sexual promise...just promise in general). Plus it's from the 90's. I love 90's R'n'B. So enjoy...the Donell Jones CLASSIC, 'This Luv'.

Donell Jones - This Luv (Official Music Video). Watch more top selected videos about: Donell Jones

Can you believe this song is 11 years old now! Wow!

God bless our homeland Ghana...

2011-03-06T21:27:00.003Z

As Ghanaian Londoners it would be pretty difficult to let this day go by without wishing everyone a happy Ghana Independence Day! Ayekoo Ghana!

Our wonderful Republic has just turned 54 and we give thanks for that.

(Image credits)

Sometimes we get down on our people when we look at the natural resources we have, the money in our national coffers and the money in the politicians hands it seems like we have nothing to celebrate. But it no be so.

We live in a stable land, we live in a safe democracy. Our fellow African brothers in the North (Libya, Egypt, Tunisia, even Sudan) have been fighting for the very thing that we so often take for granted. People are fighting and dying because of political repression in the neighbouring Côte d'Ivoire. Also, we have a human resource in those of us in the Diaspora...we are always welcome home, it's no so for every person outside their country. We can chose to go home where we can help use what we have and work with our family back home to enrich our nation. We are indeed a blessed nation.

(Image credits)

God bless our homeland Ghana!

The worst punishment in the world?

2011-02-03T13:26:00.000Z

*Embarrassed cough* Happy (extremely belated) New Year all! I'm not even going to insult you all with lame excuses. Hope there are some of you still out there reading. This year just doesn't seem to be starting off great for me and I sincerely hope I'm in the minority here. I hope everything's going wonderfully for all of you anyway.

I was having a random conversation with Nsoromma last night about the punishments people used to receive as children and she related a story of a girl who was a couple of years below her in secondary school and I just had to share.

This child (she must have been about 13) had been giving her Nigerian parents the stereotypical teen girl trouble of staying out later than her curfew, hanging out with unsavoury boys etc. etc. and I guess her father just snapped. She came home late from school one too many times and her father frogmarched her to a barber shop in the middle of Peckham and clean told the barber to shave her hair off! Think less Amber Rose and more this:

What makes this whole story worse to me that she lived in Peckham! You're always bound to bump into somebody you know in Peckham amongst the thugs, aunties, and fine boys. This poor child had to get on a bus from Peckham to Elephant and Castle everyday with her shining head until her hair grew back. As punishments go, I thought this touched the heights of genius.

This then lead to a conversation I saw on twitter asking if anybody else was 'gingered' as a child. Now I remember two or three of my friends having this done to them when they were about 10 or so and even now it horrifies me. For those who don't know, getting 'gingered' involved having ginger (or hot pepper) inserted in your vagina or anus as a form of punishment. In other words, total and utter child abuse.

The nastiness of 'gingering' aside, this leads me to the whole point of this post: what is the worst punishment you've ever received? It can't possibly be worse than having your hair shaved off in the middle of Peckham can it?...

Merry (belated) Christmas

2010-12-27T16:29:00.003Z

Hi all,

I'd decided to stay away from social media this Christmas. In this bid to stay off all social media outlets and stay faith and family focused, I hope that none of the LALI followers feel too neglected.

So here's to you, our dedicated readers. Hope you had a very...

...and we wish you all the very best in the new year! We also hope you were able to spend some quality time with your loved ones and enjoy some seriously good food. But above all I hope you grasped the true meaning of the season, which isn't presents or food or family. It is about the love God had for us that was so great that he decided to live among us to begin the process that would bring us all salvation.

So from the LALI girls, hope you enjoyed a truly great time in every sense of the word and I really do believe next year will be a great year. Watch this space! LALI will be making moves in 2011!

Love always,

Nick Griffin may have won...but he's still an eternal loser

2010-12-18T13:24:00.005Z

(image credits)

Ok, I know that sometimes (maybe slightly more often than sometimes) I can drip pure vitriol about certain people. Occasionally its unjustified. But this isn't. This is the BNP. This is Nick Griffin. Scum of the earth type personality, etc. etc...I'm sure you understand where I am going with this...

Anyhoo, back to the most recent reason to dislike him. So it seems that the BNPs racist membership rules are OK. Like WTF?!?!?! To be fair anyone who wants to join the BNP has many deep rooted issues and probably suffers from regular psychotic breaks. Plus, any 'ethnic minority' who's wishes to do so has very clearly lost their mind. But the issue is that if the BNP were allowed the 'free speech' to hate anyone (Read: ME) who is not a part of their Aryan dream, then everyone else (Read: ME) has the right to not be subjected to discrimination if they wish to become a BNP member (God forbid). Or to just genuinely twart their plans by making sure that the discriminatory practices which they thrive on are disallowed (yay!).

Their membership rules were deemed discriminatory by the Equality and Human Rights Commission, who then took court actions against them. In response to this action against their rules the party revised their constitution (still seems racist to me but it is less overt). These snaky moves by the snaky BNP to avoid facing the music seems to have allowed them to get away with a more indirectly racist membership protocol. Whatever. Point is, they are racists and we all know it. They've won this stupid battle but I still applaud the Equality and Human Rights Commission for doing their bit in our war against the racists.

After all, if the behaviour of the BNP keeps them monitored and under scrutiny, the ruling is almost irrelevant. Plus they are eternal losers anyway.

Flashback of the Day: SWV - Weak

2010-12-16T01:07:00.000Z

Last Thursday I went to a SWV/Faith Evans concert in the IndigO2 with two of my girls including Sankofa. It was amazing (ain't nothing like a 90's party y'all!)! I can't believe those girls can still blow like that! Power to them, I say. And they looked damn good too. It was so surreal seeing them up there, I felt like a 12 year old just watching them up there, it really did throw me back in time.

Anyhoo, ever since that day this one track has been STUCK in my head! So I thought I'd share.

So enjoy it with me...Weak by SWV.

Book Review: ‘The Knife of Never Letting Go’ by Patrick Ness

2010-12-10T18:31:00.005Z

This was one of the books that I read late last year when I returned to my roots as a bookworm. So here is the review I have been meaning to do for (more than) a few months for The Knife of Never Letting Go...Shout out to Sankofa for lending me this book when she went to Ghana. She knows me too well; I trust her taste in books!

Title: The Knife of Never Letting Go (love the title by the way, it caught my attention straight off the bat)

Author: Patrick Ness

First published: 2008

Plot summary: Todd Hewitt is a boy in Prentisstown, where all boys become men at the age of 13. Todd has one month to go, and as far as he knows, Prentisstown is the only settlement in the world. After a native group known as the 'Spackles' released a germ, all the women have died, meaning that the men of Prentisstown are a dying race. As a side effect of this germ, the remaining men in Prentisstown can hear each other's thoughts, known as the ever present cascade of ‘Noise’...Find the rest of the plot summary here.

Review: I thoroughly enjoyed this book. I cannot say that it was the easiest read. But sticking at it paid off, I love the way in which Ness creates a whole other universe and something about the story reminds me of Malorie Blackman’s Noughts and Crosses and Margaret Atwood’s A Handmaiden’s Tale, two all-time favourites of mine. I think it’s the whole broken world thing they all have going on. The story line is complex enough to keep you reading but straight-forward in a way that it needs to be so that you understand the plot. Oftentimes, in a book that creates a whole new world complicated plots make the book a long and tiresome read, however this book does not suffer from such a failing. Perhaps, because it is young adult literature (a favourite genre of mine) the author holds back from over complicated story lines. The concept behind the book was a real winner, no so much that Prentisstown is loud and male. But I love that Todd and Viola have to learn to communicate around silence and noise. It’s an important lesson. I love how Todd is initially intimidated by her silence and has to learn to overcome this. A true coming-of-age book in every sense, not just Todd but the whole world literally has to come of age in order to defeat Mayor Prentiss. One thing, however, that did strike me as a failing was the books’ conclusion. I feel like in Ness’s bid to get a follow up book deal, the end of the story was mistreated. It felt like a rushed, contrived ending which was totally unnecessary. I had a moment at the end of the book when I wanted to punch something coupled with a weird sense of déjà vu. I really felt for the protagonist, like, here we go again. The poor boy will have to wade through this lunacy for another 400-odd pages in part two! In my opinion the book would have benefitted much more from ending the story of our protagonist right there. However, having said that if you bought me the follow-up *hint, hint*, would I read it? Hell yeah!

Rating: Another four Nsoromma’s out of five.

4/5 stars

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow....

2010-12-04T16:34:00.000Z

Firstly, I apologise for the fact that we let the past couple of months go by without any kind of blog post and I hope you forgive us. Life is getting in the way of blogging it seems and we just can't have that now can we?

Well those of us currently stuck in the UK are experiencing a weather emergency. For the third year in a row, the UK seems to have completely shut down in the face of a little snow. Airports have been shut, train schedules have been completely turned on their heads, some buses aren't running and there's nary a bit of grit or sand where Nsoromma and I live. Yes I even busted my ass on an icy patch whilst attempting to pick up Nsoromma's foster brother from his school. We were effectively snowed in for three days while the rest of London struggled to get around. I know we like to pretend that this weather is 'unusual' but after three years, it looks as though it's here to stay. Other countries seem to manage it fine and I think we're all running extremely low on patience.

What makes all of this worse was that they knew there was snow coming well in advance. Why are local councils caught out again and again even with advanced warning? What are they doing with our council tax? Funny thing is I used to love snow but now it feels as though nature's having a big old laugh at our expense. How have you been coping with the snow? Love it? Hate it? Comment away!

(What I wouldn't give to be in Ghana right now...)

Diversification

2010-09-22T00:39:00.010+01:00

Diversification:[dih-vur-suh-fi-key-shuhn]. noun- the act or practice of manufacturing a variety of products, investing in a variety of securities, selling a variety of merchandise, etc., so that a failure in or an economic slump affecting one of them will not be disastrous.

How many time have you walked past a black owned shop, to find that not only does it specialise in hair products, but it's also laden with mops and buckets, DIY tools, cleaning products, plantain crisps, bread, water and everything and anything else its savvy owner can think of? (Let's not forget the money transfer booth, and the calling cards on the side)

Don't get me wrong, I am not oblivious to one's need to branch out into other markets, especially in these times, but I cannot count the number of times I have walked past shops that seem to be nothing more than glorified junk sales, filled with a mish mash of different products. It's horrific to see the confusion going on in some shop windows. It just leaves me thinking, "mate, you're not being a smart business man, you just look confused!".

I took this photo of a shop on Plumstead High Street today. I remember the first time I passed it. I was gobsmacked! How are you going to name your shop "MONEY & CALL SHOP HAIR SALON MUSIC" and expect me to take you seriously? If you're going to branch out, at least invest some thought into it!

Earlier this year, I was walking down the same high street with Sankofa, when another one of those "anything will do " shops caught my eye.

You may not notice it at first glance, but there is actually a lot of activity going on in this shop. How many products and services can you see up for sale here? I'll start you off with the £5 hair cut being advertised in the window :)

Hair Happy

2010-09-02T00:09:00.003+01:00

I am finally facing up to my 'real' natural hair...I've been natural for three years now, and the first year was mostly spent in braids or the small afro, the second year, I was mostly pregnant, and my hair was flowing, soft, curly and long! Then ... I gave birth and with the final push went all my beautiful hair, the front quite literally d

d out (and those telling me "it's because you had a boy" were of NO HELP WHATSOEVER!) it became 'unmanageable' and short, and I let myself be convinced into texturising it, wow was I enchanted by those loose curls and few extra inches, but like most things it had to come to an end, a stringy dead end HaHa. After this I decided, no more messing about! I cut off all the texturised bits and started again (again!) and now I have had short dyed gel twists, cornrows, full afro, weaves+braid combis and countless weaves. But I'm happy, my hair is really real again, if I wash it and (gasp) don't blow-dry it then I have an small, edgy afro which I can pull at to create some texture, but when I blow-dry it it is surprisingly long! I was getting a blow-dry up north in Liverpool, and there were white people getting weave tracks (trust me BIG BUSINESS UP THERE!) these women were amazed at the difference in length from when I first sat in the chair.

I just sat there demurely pretending I couldn't hear their gasps of astonishment... and when my Scouse cousin said, 'gosh girl, you've got a lot of hair!' I...JUST...SMILED ;-)

P.S I don't y'all seeing the real me haha x

On Getting Married...

2010-08-15T22:47:00.002+01:00

(This was written about a month ago in the run up to my sister's wedding...I'm only really now getting the chance to post...there will be a few of these. Soz)

Sankofa has always (well at least ever since I have known her) made it very clear that a big church wedding and the surrounding bru-ha-ha is not for her. And I think there have always been parts of me that agree with this stance; but still I cling to (my?) dreams of a big white wedding. Perfect in every way. With me and the hubby smiling at the fore.

As one of those children who seemed to always fall into the (mis)fortune of being a flower girl, I thought I had seen it all, in terms of the tears, tantrums and abject misery that are behind the scenes of some of the weddings I have been involved in.

However, as an adult what you see is WORSE. My sister is in the process of organising her wedding. She and her hubby-to-be thought it would be a bright idea to get married in KUMASI (Ashanti region, Ghana)...even though her and her hubby are based in EDINBURGH...mum lives in LONDON. Well...all I can say is they had a dream. Hmmmm...good luck to them! We are finally in Kumasi with two weeks to go; hubby to be is still not here. At this point, I'd sooner pack up and head home. It's the biggest nightmare you could imagine. I'm talking a cold war between the parental units, an overly determined wedding planner with illusions of grandeur, the rainy season, a travel agent under investigation for fraud and underselling tickets, wedding invitations which do not name the groom spelt correctly, bridesmaid dresses having to be re-done, flower girls BY FORCE, big dreams and an ever decreasing pot of money...oh...and money grabbing distant relatives. JOY. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. And I would like to throttle the sister. She keeps crying. It's doing my head in. I'd like to slap her. HARD. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

By this point I'm in such firm agreement with Sankofa. Allow this long nonsense. I'm having a registry wedding. KMFT.

Back to the Future

2010-07-20T13:21:00.001+01:00

I am back in Ghana for the first time in 6 years. This is my second ever visit and it feels so different coming back. It's funny that coming here aged 18 I was really impressed by my country. I think being born and raised in the UK, my family back home expected me to be wholly underwhelmed. People hyped up Ghana's negatives in an attempt to make the country seem better to me than they had advertised it to be. It seemed to me to be a ploy. A rather perverse way to make me fall in love with my heritage.

This strategy was misguided to say the least. I was more than ready to love Ghana. Contrary to popular belief (in Ghana), many of us abrokyirefuo enkola are more than ready to embrace the country of our parents. It helps give a sense of identity when living in a country (like the UK) where people forever ask 'where are you really from?'.

This return journey however sees me in a much different mood. I'm in Accra for a few days (which to me equals me being lost! Being from a pure Kumasiano family--don't judge me :P) am I'm taking a better look than the fleeting glance of a few years back.

All of a sudden I am not so impressed. It's like looking at a beautiful picture with cracks in it. As I've grown older I think I have become more and more invested in being a Ghanaian. I am emotionally invested in our sport (as you can tell), politics, language and culture. But the more invested I am, the more pain I seem to feel. It's like watching a child with 'so much potential' hit 30...and all that they have achieved is the title of 'the former child with so much potential'.

Arguments that diasporian Ghanaians should come 'back home' and set to rights their country have always erked me. Firstly, because in many ways for people like me it is no more 'coming home' that it is for any random African-American. It's just not really home. You see, you can never mistake home, love it or hate it there are particular emotions linked to the idea of home that separate diasporians from our 'home-grown' counterparts. Secondly, I think it is somewhat disrespectful to barge in and take over what you don't know. Who am I as a diasporian to Waltz in and decide my way is better? There is much to be said for local knowledge. It's priceless.

Nonetheless, I feel disappointed somehow in Ghana. There is a lot to be done and I feel like the country has stagnated. But there is also much to be hopeful for. There is a generation emerging who want to make a change; I want to be a part of that somehow. I need to find my place in helping to get it all done.

Ashanti version of 'community platforms'

2010-07-19T15:46:00.007+01:00

I am hoping to travel to Ghana in the next month with my family. This is a well and eagerly waited-for trip, and I can't wait to be outta here and sunning myself in the GH! So, I wanted to look at some pics of the ol' homeland and typed in a few areas I am interested in visiting and revisiting, you know, Accra, Kumasi, Koforidua (shout out to my homegirl Sankofa) and from Wikipedia came the link, www.mygardencity.com, billed as community platform for Ashanti region. And I say 'cool, interesting'. So I'm scanning, Opoku Nti for Asante Kotoko - and I say 'cool', Majid did not finger me-Nadia - cool, eliminating child labour, the success story - great! power cuts annoying Ghanaians - 'pff, understatement' and I laugh hahahhahahah- huh? wait wait wait REEEEWIIIND back to Majid did not finger me ...
and I say... WoW

OK, enough of that, back to work.

In Anticipation...

2010-07-02T17:35:00.003+01:00

Yes, yes, yes! I am a football addict. FACT. There. I said it.

Now on to more important business...in less than 2 hours my country of heritage, GHANA will be facing the might of Forlan's Uruguay. To say I am nervous is an understatement. Being house-bound with my foster bro while all my peoples are out at the Ghanaian London spots...Gold Coast Norwood, Gold Coast Brixton, Ekubanz...WHERE EVER...I just wanna put it out there. I wish my BLACK STARS all the best. Win, draw or lose they have made me so proud. Right now, it's great to be a Ghanaian!

And just to keep that smile on your face...here's the 'Asamoah Gyan dance'...

Let's hope that by the end of today we still have a reason to smile :D

I AM GHANA

2010-06-28T16:06:00.005+01:00

It seems that the earlier posted epic day is becoming a 'day' in bible terms, (i.e who knows how much time it actually measures?)
Ghana is still on top, 3rd african team to reach the final eight in history and the only this world cup!!!!!! Saturday was a good day but then...Sunday came, wow Engurland boi - I actually feel sorry for them because if Lampard's goal had been allowed I think it would have been a different game, the ref is a twat, sorry boys.
Anyway it was not easy but I have decided to pick myself up and start the vigil for Ghana - South America what? Uruguay who? We got the fans to do it and the soccer to play it so COME ON BLACK STARRRSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

Also I LOVED the 'I am Ghana' thing, wicked!

An Epic Day of Sport!

2010-06-24T14:32:00.000+01:00

I love World Cup years! I love the fact that there is football, tennis, F1, all packed into one very small time frame. Sorry for those of you who don't like football but the World Cup is the biggest sporting event in the world AND I LOVE IT. I have been glued to pretty much all the group phase games...particularly for my beloved countries GHANA and ENGLAND! My nation of birth and my heritage; I just have to rep both to the fullest!

To be honest, the vibe in South Africa looks amazing but the African teams have been awful as have many of the European teams. So come yesterday, I had a tense day ahead as England faced Slovenia and Ghana faced Germany to qualify...

So up first ENGLAND; the perrenial under-achievers. It can get so annoying, there is so much heartache in the ups and downs of supporting England. The fact that the other nations hate us and wish us ill, and the press hype the team up so high that they can never come good. But this year, many felt the 'golden generation' should peak and come good. Then Rio Ferdinand got injured and my heart sank a bit...then we played the USA, and the draw was a little disappointing...then we played Algeria and I almost gave up! But THEN something incredible happened...when England came out for the match yesterday they were ready. They were on it. AND WE WONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

image credits

Pheeeeeeeeeew!

Round two. Supporting GHANA. The 'youngest' African team. Errr......really?! Hmmm, moving on. We have been organised and solid for a few years now. After a very good result against Serbia and a disappointing game against Australia. THE TEST. Borga-land. We were to play the jamians! Ebei! Even though both teams included a Boateng, there was only ever one team I wanted to win...the one that included the Mensah's, Asamoah's, Ayew's, etc. But honestly, I expected ANNIHILATION. But it didn't happen. We held them for an hour and even deserved to score and though we lost, WE ARE THROUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

image credits

I was almost beside myself last night! How could both my teams go through. And even better they don't face each other. In such a game, I would surely have to take to my bed and sleep. Enye sa menya hypertension paaaaaaa (tr: If not then I'd have really bad hypertension)! PHEW! Job done!

And as if that was not enough, who caught Wimbledon last night?!

The longest game in Tennis history. 2 sets all 59-59 in the final set. Erm.....WOW.

Indeed an epic day in sport!

Song of the day: Nneka- 'Heartbeat'

2010-06-21T07:57:00.003+01:00

For those of you not yet acquainted with the beautiful Nneka, get to know! This Nigerian-German songstress has been making moves for a while now and this is one of my favourite songs off her debut album "Concrete Jungle" (or "No Longer At Ease" as it was earlier known). I'm in a fighting mood today so I'm going to let Nneka provide the soundtrack to my week. Enjoy this live performance from Letterman.

"And now the world is asleep
How will you ever wake her up when she is deep in her dreams, wishing
And yet so many die
And still we think that it is all about us
It's all about you
You sold your soul to the evil and the lust
And the passion and the money and you
See the same ones die, people hunger for decades
Suffer under civilized armed robbers, modern slaveholders"

(I wonder who she's supporting in the World Cup?)

This Is My Testimony...Nsoromma's Story, Trouble Don't Last Always...

2010-06-19T01:28:00.006+01:00

Since I wrote my last post my life has been a total whirlwind! But to re-cap, I handed in my notice at work at the end of last month. I was not happy. I needed a change, a push, something to bring me back to life. I stepped out on these feelings and decided to quit. Wrote a nice resignation letter to the boss and waited out my notice period. Funnily enough, the day I handed in my resignation was the same day I had quite a few application deadlines.

Anyhoo...about a week and a half later I get a call-back asking for an interview two days later! I immediately said yes, not even really realising what the job was for. But I did recognise that the end of that week would be my final day at work so I was still pushing for a new job (that ever-elusive career breakthrough role). I had two long back-to-back shifts in the two days before my interview and I started to get really worried that I would not have time to prepare. The day before the interview I worked til 10pm and got home near to 11:30. I was knackered and I had so much to do! I started panicking, called around for some interview advice to calm my nerves and then got stuck into my preparation in earnest. I hit the sack at 2.30am after a little 'God I've done all I can'; I just couldn't physically do anymore. My interview was for 10am and an hour-and-a-half away from where I live. This meant that, allowing for major calamities and time to settle my nerves, I needed to be out at 8am. Crap. And I was seriously lacking two nights worth of sleep. Double crap.

I woke up agitated and slightly nauseous. Oh and by the way my BB was in for repairs, so I didn't have the comfort of my phone to soothe me on my journey or to give me reminders to wake up, which was probably why I was so agitated when I woke up. At 7. After four-and-a-half hours sleep. Look I'm no Sankofa, I'm just not built for this. Anyhoo...I got there in good time. Prepared my answers and tried to will my palms to stop flowing rivers (it's so disgusting! I wish we still lived in an era when women wore gloves...). A nice lady takes me through to prepare for a presentation, 45 minutes prep for a 5 minute presentation. Crap, I didn't know about this. Nobody mentioned any presentation. I don't mind doing presentations but at least some forewarning! Crap, crap, crap, OH CRAP!

Ok, cool. Smile, shake hands, thank the nice lady. Crack a joke, make her smile. Now down to business. For the first 15 minutes I couldn't even understand the document I was reading. Calm down, start again. BREATHE. Ok, now I get it. No time to make use of the flip board. Just do it.

So I fumbled through the presentation. Smiled brightly where necessary. Answered all my questions. Didn't repeat examples, always used examples. Smiled some more. Looked all three panel members in the eye as I went along. Looked thoughtful. Clarified if I thought I sounded unclear. Didn't ramble (Yay for me! Because this is a particular habit of mine). Two small sips of water. Didn't fidget. Asked intelligent questions at the end. Was told that they would be in touch tomorrow. Smiled like a frigging simpleton. Shook hands firmly at the end (despite my sweaty hands *shudder*). Left the building. Pheeew!

Once I left I was nearly in tears. I just slumped at the bus stop for 20mins or so then made my way home. I felt horrible, exhausted and close to tears. I just kept thinking I hope my phone has arrived home by now, the only silver lining I could perceive. I got home to be greeted by my phone (yay!) and the anxious mother, oh joy. I muttered something unintelligible, skulked upstairs and crawled into bed. Fully clothed (minus the shoes). Had a good handful of texts and calls to see how it went. Ignored them nicely.
GO AWAY.

After sleep and food (up until this point I'd eaten nothing) I tried to gain some perspective. I could think of no one thing that should warrant my misery. I composed myself and prayed:

"Lord, if it is for me the let it be mine. If not then, I trust you."

I was a bit more upbeat after that. Misery does not become me. I shrugged it off and got on with life.

The following morning my brand new BB (Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!) woke me up with a private number call, in my best I'm-wide-awake-no-of-course-you-didn't-just-wake-me-up voice—I answered. The nice guy on the other end said he had just called to let me know that I had been selected for the role I went up for. Oh. That's nice. Pause. So, ummmmm, Nsoromma, would you like the job? Pause. Oh. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh, yes! Needless to say, the rest of the convo was a blur. The rest of the day was a blur. Thank you God. The following day was my last day at the old job. Thank you, GOD! HELLO, ARE YOU THERE GOD? IT'S ME NSOROMMA, THANK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Called the fam, friends, Pastor and well wishers. This is my testimony. I said it was my moment, I believed it and it was.

THANK YOU GOD,

Love always,

N.B. Here's the song I pilfered (and adapted) the title from...Mary J. Blige: Testimony

(first published on Baring Testament)

beautiful...I just want you to know....

2010-06-13T00:57:00.004+01:00

Hey there everybody, I know it has been a long time since I have written anything BUT HEY I'm here now eh?

I just want to pay homage to a certain black French actress and in doing so give some props to some other beautiful and talented black ladies.

The actress' name is Aissa Maiga, she hails originally from Senegal and has mixed African parentage (Malian, Senegalese and Gambian) I have seen her in French television and a few films before and after watching a recent film with her in it 'Ensemble c'est trop' I just can't get over how beautiful I find her. This is the backdrop to my appreciation of this lady, I have just returned form a short holiday in a Caribbean country and there were SO many pretty girls, they all had long hair that curled, waved and flowed, or greeny blue eyes or cocoa butter/ tinned-milk-tea skin, in short they were just the perfect ti chabins (creole for mixed race looking girls with light coloured skin) and the whole time I just found it amazing that these were fully black women. They hadn't done much to themselves but the usual Caribbean mixtures inherited from slavery and colonialism just presented themselves as various shades of beautiful. WoW! From the young girls to the old women they were the epitome of what many other black girls would spend hours in the salon/gym/Yinka Bodyline trying to achieve and they just have IT, naturally! So, anyway this all left me feeling very short, dark and hairy (I am currently growing out my eyebrows) -and it doesn't help that my son (being light and quite frankly a bit coolie) fits in very nicely with the general look of the island, and resembled about 50 other women more than myself.

So when I got onto the plane and the little one finally fell asleep, I decided by chance to watch a French film, and there she was, dark, hairy (maybe even short, I can't really tell) but BE-YOOT-I-FUL, and although I don't look anything like her it was just very good to have confirmation that dark is lovely (all shades) so YaY to:

all u creole boté (beauties)

and to Aissa Maiga,

Rama Yade,

Alek Wek,

Lanisha Cole (the dark girl in Pharrell's 'Frontin' Video)

and to my main girls Sankofa, Nsoromma, Afrocentric and, bien sur ... Me!

Song of the day: Nana Boroo ft. S.K. Blink- "Aha yɛdɛ"

2010-06-11T08:33:00.000+01:00

I know this song's been out for a while now in Ghana but I still love it. This debut song by yet another Tema hiplife artist, Nana Boroo is the perfect anthem for days like these when your long-awaited summer holiday has finally begun. There're a million and one languages going on in this song and the chorus is loosely translated as "here's where the fun is; everywhere else is dead". The World Cup is finally here people. GO BLACKSTARS! Yes Go England! Hope you enjoy!

Why Idris? Why?!!!!!

2010-06-11T00:21:00.001+01:00

I just came across this video of my beloved Idris Elba and I had to share it with you guys.

I think my soul just died a little. Like many other females (and males) I just love me some "Big 'Dris". Here's a fine-ass half-Ghanaian, half-Sierra Leonian, East London Boy making some moves in Hollywood. He's flippin' STRINGER BELL from The Wire (if you don't know, get to know)! I know music's always been Idris's first love but mate you're nearing 40 years of age and you're wearing a doo-rag under a backwards-turned baseball cap, rapping in pseudo-Carribean patois in 2010?! I'm so distracted that I can't even judge the song objectively. Nsoromma pretty much summed this up when I sent her the vid on facebook:

"Rasclart tune? Gwan? Hol' On? More Fire? Dude ur Ghanaian/Sierra Leonian...I dont understand the influence. I'm so embarrassed!"

I just can't ....

Flashback of the Day: Koffee Brown – After Party

2010-06-08T14:01:00.002+01:00

I'm feeling good in London Town at the moment, the sun playing games and there is the occasional torrential downpour but all is good. So I decided to give you this throwback I have been jamming to today. Enjoy and have a good day now!

All is Not Fair in Jobs and War.

2010-06-04T11:48:00.004+01:00

The last year or so has been one big whirlwind of job hunting, interviews, rejection letters and more job hunting. And I was beginning to feel quite despondent and deflated about the whole situation. I have worked in retail since the age of 16 and I really wanted to leave that world behind in search of something bigger - especially with a university degree under my belt. But I was fast learning that in today's day and age a BA degree does not mean jack. I mean who cares if you travelled all the way to another country for a year to become fluent in a foreign language anyway?

The big storms of disappointment settled a couple of weeks ago, when I got accepted for internship I applied for (which was unpaid, other than the £10 a day for travel expenses the company was kind enough to bless me with!). Anyway, a week into the internship, I received an e-mail from The Guardian saying that they liked the article I had sent to them and wanted to take me on as an intern for two weeks. "Wow", I was thinking. "Two acceptances within a week and a half? Not bad at all!" After a lot of pondering and mentally going around in circles though, I decided to send them an e-mail to decline the offer. Considering, I have always wanted to go into journalism, and had recently taken a strong interest in publishing, it is mad that I would turn down a journalism internship, in favour for the PR one I already had. But If I had taken it, the two would have clashed. So being a woman who always like to follow through with what she has already started, I decided to stick with what I already had and to keep on stepping.

So, week two of my three week internship, and I have an interview with Penguin Books, for another internship which would have lasted two months. (Can I please add that I didn't think there was a chance in hell I was going to get shortlisted for an interview with Penguin seeing as the CV and covering letter I sent to them was a slap-dash, half hearted effort that I submitted hours before the deadline.) I thought the interview went well, but after a year of chasing a full time graduate job, I have learnt to not get my hopes up too high.

Anyway, after the interview with Penguin, I went straight back to the firm I was interning for to finish the day as usual, and was even allowed to leave half an hour early. The next day at work however, I notice the MD looking at me in a strange way the whole day. "Why is she staring at me? Is my top too low? Do I smell funny? Do I have toilet roll stuck to my shoes?" Just as I thought I couldn't take it anymore, she called me into the office. "Oh no. This is it. She thinks I'm terrible, and she is cutting the internship short". So I sheepishly follow her into the meeting room trying to figure out what I'm supposed to do for the rest of the week.

Once in the meeting room, we both take a seat and she begins. "We have enjoyed having you here, and the others really like you. Not only that, we think you have been making a positive contribution to the team, and we would like to offer you a job here on a permanent basis." Huh? Did I miss that? Did she just say she is offering me a job? Seriously, I had been waiting for a year to hear those words, and finally my time had come and all I could do was stare back at her with a stupid expression on my face.

"Err...would a full time job here be of any interest to you?" Oh my goodness, the long hunt for full time (meaningful) employment has come to an end! (For now anyway, until I decide to move on)
"Yes! yes! Thank you so much. I am so grateful. I would love to work here!". Looking back now, I think she was a bit taken aback by my explosion of joy. But seriously, I cannot describe how good I felt at that moment. My internship had not even ended and I had a job already. Yippee!!

Fast forward to this week, yesterday to be precise. I missed a call from a number I was not familiar with. So, I called back and was directed to the answering machine of none other than...Andrew Smith! The guy from Penguin! I left a quick message while I attempted to breathe in and then out again calmly. But an hour or so later, I realised I had missed another call from him. Gaddamit! Although I have managed to secure a job, I just had to know what he had to say. So I called back right away and this time he answered. Yes!

"Hello. Andrew Smith's office"
"Hi Andrew, this is Afrocentric. I am just returning your call. How are you?"
"Hi, Afrocentric. You were just playing hard to get, weren't you?"
"Not at all. I am sorry I missed your calls"
"It's OK, never mind. So, Afrocentric. Will you be free between the 28th June and the 20th August? Cos I'm pleased to say you have been successful with your application."

Let me cut in here. At that moment, you could have knocked me with the proverbial feather duster. I had been selected by Penguin??!! Anybody else would be more than ecstatic to work with one of the biggest publishers ever. Hell, a couple of weeks earlier I would have! Except now, I had a big dilemma. Publishing is were the party's at as far as I am concerned but this was just a two month internship with no promise of a full time permanent position afterwards. And I already have a job with a PR company. GRRR!!! So, what did I do next? I kindly asked Andrew Smith if I could call him back later with an answer (needless to say, he wasn't too pleased) and called the one person I always bother with my problems when I am totally lost. Mama Afrocentric.

I explained the situation to her, while she listened calmly. When I was done, she made me understand that after a year, I had finally bagged a job by the skin of my teeth, and I couldn't afford to be thinking about job satisfaction just yet. Especially since the internship did not guarantee a job afterwards, and the job I have now is damn near close to what I want to do anyway. She also explained that maybe after a year or so of experience at where I'm working now, I can probably apply for a proper job with Penguin.

So I called back Mr. Smith and kindly declined the offer and thanked him for the opportunity. I had a big lump in my throat as I knew I was turning down something major. I know you are probably thinking "Afrocentric, you are full of crap! Why are you getting emotional over a two month internship when you already have a job you enjoy?". But what you don't know is that I applied for this same internship last year and didn't even make it through the first round! So being selected this time round is something major to me.

Oh well. Now some other kid is probably thanking their lucky stars and getting ready for work with Penguin in a couple of weeks time. I honestly can tell you that a year ago I seriously did not believe I would find myself in this predicamnet. I am grateful for the job I have, and I love it so much, but having to turn down Penguin was seriously close to a heart breaking loss. Anyway, as I settle into my new job I can't help but hope I am faced with the same "dilemma" on the other hunt. *Wink wink.*

Flashback of the Day: Tony Toni Tone - Anniversary

2010-05-23T09:32:00.002+01:00

Love, love, LOVE this song. It's been playing in my head all night. This WILL be playing at my wedding! 90's music was just soooo good. So I just had to share, enjoy!

Love alwayz,

Young, Fat and Fabulous

2010-05-18T20:28:00.024+01:00

Monday being the first day of my internship at a PR company, you would think I'd tried my damnest to make a good impression and do as I was told right?

WRONG!

Well I did EVERYTHING that was asked of me... sort of...until i discovered youngfatandfabulous.com. This "accident" happened when the accounts manager asked me to conduct research on different blogs. I hardly fall in love, but me and this website is a match made fashion in heaven!

The website celebrates the fashion-conscious, fabulous, fat girl trying to make her way in a slim woman's world. And damn some of the chicks featured on this website are seriously styling! Don't believe me? Why don't you check it yourself? I must admit though, there are some misses.What I like about the blog however, is that Gabi, who regularly posts on the website, celebrates the curvy girl without putting down her slimmer counterpart. I am mostly happy because I have never seen so may fabulous looking women who look like me.

Every so often, the site features a "YFF girl of the moment", which basically shows off other stylish fat girls from around the world. I like this feature because it gives you a multi faceted view of fashion. Also, it encourages you to work with what you already have in your wardrobe, rather than run up that credit card bill!

I must say that this website has inspired me to get creative. Nothing dulls your artistic flame more than having to work in a totally average high street store that surrounds you with size 6-16 clothes, when you're pushing a size 18.

Anyway, at the risk of giving up my anonymity, I have decided to share with you my top wardrobe favourites as a token of my newly found creativity. Most of these pieces are things I have owned for years. Some are quite new. So here goes!

1.

These are a few of my favourite bangles. I truly believe that the right bangle always completes the look.I especially love the fifth one down with the gold flowers. It's so pretty and surprisingly it matches quite a lot of outfits. Plus, it was a bargain!

2. Anyone who hasn't been in hiding would know that the boyfriend blazer has been all the rage for the last couple of years. Anyone who know me would know I have worn the hell out of mine. I love it so much because it can be worn casually as well as with a smart outfit.

3.

I LOVE RED! It is such a vibrant colour, and it always makes me feel perky. I feel brightly coloured accessories are especially handy for girls who would like to add a splash of colour to their wardrobe but are not brave enough to don a bright red dress.

4.

I love my african prints! (ntuma if you are an akan speaker, mama if you are a ga speaker.) They are funky and fun and nothing shouts out "originality" better. What I love about this dress is that it can be worn in the winter with a cardi or a jacket and a pair of boots, or in the summer, on its own. (And for those of us whose bras have boulder holder straps, it can be worn with a t-shirt or a vest top underneath)Either way, this dress is fab!

5.

I know technically speaking, this is not an item of clothing. But my red lipstick is one of my latest contribution to fashion. I remember when Sankofa first showed me hers, I was thinking "mmm...it's nice. But a bit loud". After a bit of persuasion from one of my aunts though, I soon found myself in a shop in North London, buying my own, and I haven't looked back since. I really believe that no matter your skin tone, there's a shade of red out there for you. It doesn't even have to be an expensive brand.Just make sure you moisturise your lips first as lipstick can dry them out a bit.
(And while, we're on the subject of make up, if you love applying colour to your lips, try Barry M's range of lip gloss wands. It's some pretty serious stuff!)

6.
Do you know what I love most about these rosettes from J'accentue? Well, they are so versatile. You can pin one (or two!) onto an outfit to make it a little more quirky, attach one to your bag, or even pin it in your hair! What's more, they are hand made, and created to your taste. So you'll be the only one wearing your style of choice!

7.

Moving on, these peep-toe booties served me well over winter. At £10, they really are a bargain. I like them because I will be able to wear them well into summer too. As pretty as they are, they leave my feet screaming after a few hours though. Oh well, that's what the flats in bag are for!

8.

Why do I like this tulip skirt? Mmm...I honestly don't know, but I can tell you that I always feel sexy in it. Plus it's a whole load of red, which I love!

9.

I am not usually a fan of florals, but I heart this cardi because I can always throw it over a plain black top or a dress, and it always looks good. Also, there are not many like it on the high street. But just in case you are looking for it, you can buy this cardigan or one like it at Oasis.

10.

I love accessorising, and just like bangles, I feel rings compliments an outfit nicely. I remember, I bought my first ring with Sankofa in Topshop In Oxford Circus. (Do you remember girl?) But this is one of my favourites. It's a real attention seeker and I love it!

Well, we have come to the end girlies. I hope you have enjoyed reading. Remember, looking good isn't always about chasing everything that comes into the shops. Work with what you've got! Also, I need you to know you can be fashionable, no matter your shape or size.

Favourite Quote of the Week

2010-05-18T15:15:00.003+01:00

A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.

- H. L. Mencken

Voting Mayhem in the UK General Election

2010-05-06T23:48:00.006+01:00

Never in my life in the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland have I heard of such scenes! Voting fever has gripped a nation and a generation which has been mostly apathetic about politics has erupted into arguments about who to vote for. My BlackBerry messenger and my Facebook page have become site's of political slander and all sorts. It's great. The exit polls suggest that for all his 'great work', Nick Clegg's Lib Dem's have actually lost ground. WOW. I didn't see that coming. My girl, Fly-Ass Single Mama, has been calling trying to get some translations of election babble. Things like swing, marginal seats, exit polls, etc....AMAZING.

The polls opened at 7am on Thursday 6th May and closed at 10pm, that's ample time, right?! So why have there been scenes of queues and people turned away from polling stations due to a mad rush at the end? It seems GMT (Ghana Man Time) has affected the nation! Is it bad that I find this hilarious? Surely, 13 hours is ample time to cast a damn vote? I am almost giddy. In some places they ran out of ballot papers. How possible? I have friends who are LITERALLY kicking themselves for not getting on the electoral roll early enough! How exciting. Since it looks like we will have a hung parliament I wonder if there will be loads of contested constituencies? If it is a hung parliament I wonder how long it will all last.

But on a serious note the issue of fairness has been raised, in some constituencies (Manchester Withington, City of Chester, Sheffield Hallam, Penistone & Stocksbridge and Hackney South & Shoreditch) people were turned away at 10pm in others the time was extended by 10 mins or so, although police officers are claiming that in Brockley, South London, one polling station was allowing voters to cast their votes up until 10.30pm!

Is this right?

image credits

The rules state that anyone holding a ballot paper at 10pm have the right to vote. But if you are in the polling station but not holding a ballot paper, may NOT vote. Oh dear. So what now? Should they have handed the ballot papers down the line? I really don't know. Apparently, in the marginal seat of the City of Chester, the Labour party are claiming as many as 600 voters were turned away!! The party had only won the seat previously by 900-odd. 917, actually, I just checked. That is TIGHT!

Could the BNP kindly jump off a cliff?

2010-04-28T16:39:00.000+01:00

Just the kind of fuckeries we need this Wednesday afternoon. Seems like twat-of-the-century, Nick Griffin's feeling were hurt when Lethal Bizzle wrote that somebody should kill the BNP leader (not a bad idea...) and he's now suing him for it. This was for something Lethal said on his personal twitter page. I'm not exactly sure about the law on that but it doesn't prevent this from falling squarely into the "fuckeries" category.

http://bnp.org.uk/2010/04/bnp-legal-officer-lays-criminal-charge-after-ghanaian-origin-rap-singer-urges-murder-of-nick-griffin-2/

Favourite Quote of the Week

2010-04-27T22:44:00.004+01:00

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it's just possible you haven't grasped the situation.

- Jean Kerr

Picture post

2010-04-26T18:43:00.002+01:00

Everybody who knows me knows of my penchant for taking random pictures of people and things. Living in London enabled me to hone my stealth photography skills in order to avoid getting my ass kicked. However, this is not "Caught Slippin'" (does anybody remember that facebook group? Jokes for daaaaaays!) so here are just a few of the random pics I've taken in the past few

months here:

The Cape Coast Mysterious Dwarfs F.C.

I snapped this whilst stuck in some stupid traffic on the Accra-Tema motorway. Who knew Cape Coast had a football team called the "Mysterious Dwarfs" [sic]? Shouldn't they be dwarves? What's so mysterious about them? This is still the best football club name I've heard yet though.

Taxi hazards

So I hailed a taxi from my house to Dzorwulu one sunny afternoon and tired of the wind effing up my hair because of the open window, I asked the taxi driver to please raise up the window for me. He directed me to "touch the green wires together". He then happily told me to touch the EXPOSED orange wires together to lower the window again! I was actually dumbfounded. Only in Ghana indeed....

"Oh Edem!"

I have no idea who Edem is, or what he did, but it was clearly serious enough to warrant the offended party complaining about his crimes all over Accra. I thought this was hilarious. Not unlike our next picture...

Hilarious Services (Osu)

Spotted this gem on Oxford St. in Osu. Mate, you offer clerical and photography services. What the hell is 'hilarious" about that?

"My Lord is my Shepped"

Yep. "Shepped". What made this worse was that I took this picture at the Accra Polo Club as it was reversing into the white picket fence of the supporters enclosure. Clearly the Lord was slipping on his shepherding skills that evening....

"My Brain"

A couple of months ago, I was trying to stress to my grade 8 students the importance of acknowledging their sources before they turned in their projects. It's never too early to learn about plagiarism right? This was the bibliography page of one of my students. Is this a reflection on me or her? Either way, let's bow our heads in prayer for the children of the future....

(This post was first published on Altius Tendo)

Flasback of the Day (Sankofa got in there before me :-p) Sunshine anderson - heard it all before

2010-04-26T14:18:00.004+01:00

Another sunny tune (geddit?) for a relatively sunny day from 2001, homeboy's getting a melodic can of whoop-ass unleashed upon him boi!

Enjoy a bit of sassy girl power!

Flashback of the Day: Arrested Development- 'People Everyday'

2010-04-26T01:00:00.002+01:00

I can't think of a better tune to start off the new week. This song still knocks haaaaaaaard! Can you believe it's now 18 freaking years old?!

Arrested Development - People Everyday

May I take your order?

2010-04-23T00:01:00.001+01:00

I was randomly chatting with Afrocentric and Nsoromma the other day about going out for dinner when we all remembered one of the most excruciating dining experiences ever! How it ever slipped my mind I'll never know but of course it had to be blogged about.

So sometime last year, this restaurant (which shall remain nameless) was doing a promotion where you'd come and have lunch or dinner from a menu with no prices on it and then in lieu of a bill, you'd pay as much as you think the meal was worth. Sounds like a great deal right? So of course, being the cheapskates and lovers of eating out that we are, Afrocentric, Nsromma and I trekked down to Farringdon looking for the said restaurant. Ah screw it, the restaurant's called The Little Bay. So after going up and down Mount Pleasant and Farringdon Road we eventually find the place right by where we first started. Isn't that always the case? By this stage we were cold, hungry and irritable and the fact that we had to wait for a table didn't exactly help manners.

We were finally seated and by this time we had warmed up enough to take in our surroundings. Woooooooow! This place was rocking velvet flipping ceilings! Add to this the huge frieze (or whatever it was) of Poseidon, the random gold trimmings, and the portly Mediterranean bloke who was wandering through the tables singing shrill opera. The impact of the décor was so powerful that I actually don't remember much about the food. It was perfectly fine I suppose but nothing to write home about.
The real excitement began when it was time to pay the bill. We'd already decided to pay a fiver each before even entering the place but when it actually came down to it, the pressure was unbelievable. The three gloating women who had happily trekked halfway across London in search of an (almost) free meal disappeared. Beads of sweat appeared on our top lips and surreptitious glances were made towards the door. We eventually came up with a plan that we'd pay 10 pounds TOTAL between the three of us and Nsoromma and Afrocentric would take the lead out of the door whilst I stayed to paid the bill. This seem like a great plan in theory but the execution was another story. My nerves began to fail me when the waitress came to ask if "everything was okay" as she saw us trying to slyly slip on our coats and scarves. It also didn't help that we were the only black people in there as well. Way to disprove the stereotypes about black people being stingy girls! Nsoromma and Afrocentric "conveniently" found something fascinating on their phones and sidled out of the door. I sat there for about half a second before grabbing my bag, throwing down the tenner and practically sprinting out of the door. We collapsed in fits of giggles as soon as we put daylight between ourselves and the restaurant.

This restaurant had a genius marketing plan. Enough people were probably so terrified of looking stingy that they overpaid on their meals, therefore offsetting cheapskates like us. Nevertheless, this was definitely one of the most painful dining experiences I've ever had. So it's over to you. Can you beat our experience? Let's hear it!

(On a side note: there's a Jamaican Restaurant in South Norwood called "Rastarant" and I've always thought this was the greatest name ever! Any good restaurant names to share?)

Welcome to Lagos: Random Thoughts

2010-04-15T23:04:00.006+01:00

Today, not dissimilar from most Thursdays, I was on my way home from work. It was around 9.08 pm, and I was just entering the gate to my house when I received a text from Nsoromma. “Please tell me you are watching Welcome to Lagos”, it read. “Shit!” I thought, rushing through the gate and pushing through my front door in one messy bundle. Whoever knows me knows how anal I am about watching a film or a show from its very first second. And I had missed a whole eight minutes! mini sanɛ nɛ! (Loose tr: oh dear!) So I ran straight upstairs,totally forgetting about the televised political debate, not stopping to say hi to my family downstairs in the living room, not even pausing to take a breath, or to pass Go and collect my £200. I had to watch this programme I had been waiting for the whole week.

I practically catapulted myself into my room and made a beeline for my TV. Quick...Remote...BBC 2. Once I had finally managed to get the TV onto the right channel, and sit down, I must admit I was a tad disappointed by what I was confronted with: a grown ass man sporting dirty overalls and a cap rummaging through piles of junk in a massive dump site. What the hell is this? KMT! I was tempted to switch it over, but as the show progressed, I realised this man sells the “goods” he finds in the dump to make a living. And then the documentary followed the man into his home, (Joseph, I think his name was), and the way he interacted with his family. His daughter’s first birthday was approaching and he and his wife were planning a birthday party. Something he said caught my attention. It was along the lines of “If I had to work in a dumpsite smellier and dirtier than the one I’m in now to earn more money, I would do it to give my family a good life.” I am not really sure what the programme had covered so far, but for me that was the first of many stereotypes of Nigerians it had broken. For example, not all Nigerian men are dictators, fiercely ruling over their women and their families while refusing to actually interact with them with any sort of affection. Shoot me if you want, but that’s the portrayal of Nigerian men I had actually believed.

The documentary also showed how Lagosians and people from other places made a livelihood in the big cattle market. It documented people negotiating over the price of cows, and other cattle (that I cannot remember!) It also showed how a man (I have forgotten his name) processed Cow’s blood to make chicken feed. What I liked about the show was that, for once, Africans were being shown to be resourceful, working hard for a living, rather than passively accepting aid or fighting over food items being thrown from UN trucks.

Also, although these people were living in squalid conditions, they were happy. Rather than playing the victim, they seemed to be content with their lot. I also noticed that the narrator often used words such as “optimistic”, and “hard-working” to describe the Nigerian people.

My criticisms? Well firstly, in typical BBC style, I feel the show did impose its opinions on its audience a bit. Like the uncomfortable close up of the man talking into the camera with a chewing stick in his mouth. I mean I’m sure the BBC would never document life in London, and have a white man speaking into the camera while brushing his teeth and spitting foam into the camera.

I also disliked the way subtitles were put up even when what was being said was in perfectly comprehendible English. It just seemed a bit patronising. Subtitles, in my opinion, are totally acceptable if people are speaking Pidgin or in their different languages. And while, we are on the subject, why are subtitles always needed when it’s an African speaking, no matter how clear his English is? *sigh*

Also, I feel the great British public has been brainwashed with enough images of abject poverty in Africa. I don’t think they needed to see anymore. But I got the sense that the show was one episode in a series of many. So I sincerely hope that life in the more glamorous side of Lagos will be later broadcasted.

You may disagree with me, but one thing the documentary did not lack was the entertainment factor, it was certainly interesting. I think it did attempt to be real, but I couldn’t help but feel the Lagosians were sometimes being mocked. To finish, let me add that I actually sat there watching the show with my coat on and didn’t think to take it off until it was over!

Picture taken from http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/tv/2010/04/welcome-to-lagos-itll-defy-you.shtml

Flaskback of the Day: Destiny Child - Get On The Bus ft. Timbaland

2010-04-11T20:26:00.005+01:00

I know I really need to actually finish a post about something other than music! But since the sun has been shining small in London town I've been tripping down memory lane with my music. And came across this little 1990's gem. I loved this song and the album that spawned it The Writing's On The Wall back when I was in school!

So enjoy the original DC and Mr. Mosley on this old fave of mine, Get On The Bus...

Rah, Latavia had body!

Rules! Rules! Rules!

2010-04-05T11:57:00.005+01:00

For a long time, I have been wondering why we do some of the things we do. What I mean is the certain traditions that we put a lot of blood, sweat and tears into to make sure they never become extent. For example, why do we eat fish on Good Friday? And why do we put up a tree at Christmas?

But they do not bug me as much as some of the unwritten rules that govern Ghanaian social etiquette. Firstly, why is it rude to give and receive with your left hand? I have directed this question to my mother on many occasions, and all she can offer is "because the left is the dirty hand". However, she has no idea how this rule made its way into Ghanaian society and why the tradition still lives on. I don't think it's a problem per se that these rules exist, but I would just like a bit more information about them. I remember telling my manager at work that I would have to be careful about which hand I use when I'm in Ghana. She asked me "why?" and I told her because the left hand was considered "unclean", then she asked me "why?" again, and I did not have anything tangible to offer.

Secondly, why is it that when you enter a room, where a number of people are gathered, you have to greet everyone, starting from the left (or is it right?) and work your way round in a clockwise motion? I remember going to an aunt's party and being ushered (read: shoved) into the living room by my mother to greet everyone. As I was doing what I assumed to be the right thing, I noticed everybody in the room fiercely staring at me. When I later pointed this out to my mother, she told me it was becasue I went the wrong way around the room. Does it have to be such a big deal?

I am not pretending to be a super-liberal, do-anything-that-goes-against-the norms-of-society type of person, who would do anything to break the rules, it's just that I am baffled why some people insist on abiding to the handbook on Ghanaian social etiquette, when it's missing the hows and whys.

The Dating Game

2010-03-30T14:40:00.004+01:00

Since the bad break up I went through back in November I have whole heartedly thrown nay, CATAPULTED myself into the wonderful world of dating. It has been interesting to say the least, and I have learnt a few lessons, which I think I should share with the friends and readers of LALI...

1. When dating, let the guy know all you are interested in is a date

When I was in university, I remember being at a rave and Mr. Play was on the mic telling girls to fix their faces when they are approached for a dance because 'A DANCE IS NOT A RELATIONSHIP AND A RELATIONSHIP IS NOT A DANCE'. This is true of dating too. It's just a date, an opportunity for us to get to know one another so don't let the guy see it as a down payment for future 'fun' or anything else like that. You're just sharing company, capece?

2.If you realise you are not interested, MOVE ON

I was almost strong-armed into a relationship with a nice enough guy because he was so on it, and he's a nice guy and all. I enjoyed his company and his dates. He had imagination and was such a gentleman, but he just didn't set my heart alight, you know? And he stayed pleading for me to just give him a chance but I genuinely like him...enough to not lead him on. I had to be firm and I felt like the biggest bitch but it was very necessary. I'm NOT gonna do him like that and do the next girl out of an amazing guy. He just wasn't for me.

3. Do not date a guy who's company you cannot stand

Now this sounds standard, but I wanted attention and got into the habit of dates to such a degree that I was prepared to bare his company so that I wasn't bored at home. But then I realised, 'Girl, you know you'd rather sleep, study, bore your own eyes out with a sharp implement a la Houston' than spend time with this dude. So I finally got a clue and got rid of him.

4. Don't get your hopes up

Just as YOU don't want a guy to get obsessed in a matter of days, remember to slow your roll. He's sussing you out too, and he also has the prerogative to say, uh-uh she's not the girl for me. Chalk it down to experience and keep it moving.

5. Paying...

I personally like to go on dates which I know I could bail myself out of if needs must. If he has table manners like a horse, I can just leave my part of the bill and bounce. Or cover it if he ain't got enough. Or just pay to shut the dude up if he goes on a rant about girls who just wanna take his money. If paying is not an option for you right now (think temporarily without funds, NOT broke), then before we go I will let a brother know look I can't get this. I set out the terms and conditions so that when we get there we all know where we stand. But if I initiated the date I will pick up the check.

6. Venue

I do not prescribe a date venue but 'back to your place' does not constitute a date. It represents a sad lack of imagination and an opportunistic leech. Particularly if we just met and I am not giving you those vibes.

And in related news.... DOES NOT CONSTITUTE A DATE, IT'S OVER PRICED CHICKEN AND CHIPS! Get a clue!

Happy dating!

;)

Nsoromma xXx

IMAGE CREDITS

Happy 1st Birthday LALI!

2010-03-26T07:25:00.005Z

It has been a year since Life and Living It's first entry was posted, and since then we have come a long way! A year on, 87 posts later and with 49 followers we are still going strong. I would like to thank everyone who has stuck with us even though we haven't always been faithful with our posts! I would also like to congratulate Sankofa, Nsoromma and Friday's Afro on not backing out. Anyway, I'll stop here because it's starting to sound like an acceptance speech. But before I go, I'll leave you with my top 5 LALI blog posts.

1."SuRpRiSe"
2.Getting up Close and Biblical
3.Mind the Gap: Some General Observations About London Travel
4.Bonkers Banking in the Land of Gold
5.The calm compulsion

Have a nice weekend!
Afrocentric

Phamous Philms

2010-03-25T21:00:00.004Z

I love the video to Boga Boga by Sarkodie, I thought it was slick and well done. It fits the song so well, which is rare for a GH music video. My GH people's finally making it happen behind the lens for the good music. So I did a little search on the director of the video, Gyo Gyimah from Phamous Philms.

Phamous Philms are also responsible for the I think I Like Am video by VIP, Fire by Becca ft. Samini (terrible song!) Fresh Ones (Shaka Zulu) by 4x4 and Swagger by Ruff 'n' Smooth.

I'm impressed! The poorest, is the video for I think I Like Am, but to be honest I think it's a bad song anyway. The picture quality is so much better, although the shirts worn by VIP in that video are shocking and I don't understand why Ruff n' Smooth and 4x4 are only using light or white girls in their respective videos. Is Ghana not generally a country of black people? Am I wrong for wanting a bit of black female representation in these video's...Anyhoo....The video quality is a definite marked improvement from old school video's like Obour's Menwu Biom or Kontihene's Esi (damn! I still love this song!).

A solid portfolio by Phamous Philms. Hopefully bad quality music videos are now a thing of the past. Now time to tackle content...

Foolishness

2010-03-25T04:41:00.001Z

This is just a quick one but I just saw a couple of articles on BBC that made me "hmm" a little. First up is a man I'm tempted to call an idiot. Hey it's just my opinion! Anyway, this lovely gentleman from our esteemed country has decided to name his son Silvio Berlusconi. O_O Really? You're going to name your child after the Prime Minister of a country with, quite frankly, dodgy immigration policies (particularly towards Africans) and a country where one can find signs claiming "There are no black Italians" at football games? This man who is a walking joke to most people (including Italians). This is a man who is more known for calling Obama "suntanned" and his numerous plastic surgeries than anything actually worthwhile. This is a man, who after a devastating earthquake in Abruzzo region of Italy last year, advised the homeless survivors to treat their plight as a "camping weekend". This is a man who has happily admitted that Italian deportation centres are no better than concentration camps. I could go on an on about Berlusconi's numerous faults but then I would just get more depressed. No wonder somebody clocked him one.

This was on the front page of the news section btw. I just think it's sad that this is the second time in a few months that I've seen Ghana mentioned on the front page of the BBC news website. The first time for a bogus earthquake, and the second time for this nonsense. Makes you wonder....

Here's an excerpt from the article:

A Ghanaian immigrant to Italy has named his son after Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, despite his government's tough policy on immigration.
Anthony Boahene told an Italian newspaper: "I like the way Berlusconi talks, the way he moves."
Asked about Mr Berlusconi's tough stance on immigration, he said: "It's fine, laws need to be observed."
Mr Boahene said he would like his son Silvio to study politics and to become president of Ghana or Italy.

Second up is this story about a recall on baby slings in America and Canada. I used to love baby slings and I remember eagerly waiting for Friday's Afro to drop mini-Friday's Afro just so I could carry him in a sling! Then one day I realised that baby slings are just posh versions of this:

End of story.

Flashback of the Day: Alicia Keys - Superwoman

2010-03-22T11:04:00.003Z

I'm feeling positive for once on a Monday. I have completed two of the three application I wanted to do for the weekend. I'm not stressed about the other one. It probably just isn't for me. I'm just gonna keep working hard.

This lil' gem by Alicia Keys is not to far back for a flashback, but it is very apt at the moment for me, Superwoman by Alicia Keys...But that wig in the boardroom thou, No No!

Alicia Keys - Superwoman (Official Music Video). Watch more top selected videos about: Alicia_Keys

The calm compulsion

2010-03-16T22:02:00.003Z

In this short post I'm going to talk about my body, I know I know.

I'm so sick of it being such a big concern. I'm not body dysmorphic or anything but why oh why can't it just obey me and not flow, or protrude where it's not supposed to? I don't know if this is sounding like the most shallow post ever, but I really feel that I can't really talk about weight issues to my eat-what-she-wants sister or my eat!-eat! mother, and if you mention it to other gals, they just assume that you're chatting s*"t and fishing for compliments.

What I really want to know is how does one REALLY get over body issues? Put on or Lose weight 'just because' and not let it take over one's life?

I find that when I used to stuff my face I was doing it with an attitude - 'I don't even care! I LUUURRVE my body'- and when (in final year of school) I used to starve myself and I lost weight, I was only temporarily happy with the amount I lost...so annoying!

Maybe this is just a case of never human beings never being happy and I don't want to sound too neurotic, but seriously can anyone help to stop me obsessing about this issue, it hasn't got embarrassing yet, but I don't want it to get to the point where my favourite conversation starter is ' have you read about the ...... diet?' and my most profound thought is 'how many calories in a polo mint?'

The thing is although it is very present it's still quite quiet, I'm not physically stopping my life in order to devote time to scale-hopping, and I basically eat whatever (within reason) it just amazes me how it's always ALWAYS there, and has been for about 10 years!

Does anyone out there feel 100% happy with themselves and even if not, how has anyone ended the diet-cycle or the scoff-cycle?

HELP

A taste of Ghana (pt.1)

2010-03-14T17:23:00.000Z

When I first came to GH, I spent a lot of time taking pictures of food. Yep- food. It was just so refreshing to see the "real" versions of so many of my favourite dishes after years of being forced to cope with the budget versions. These pictures of food were slightly awkward to explain whenever people decided to look through the pics on my camera. Since I don't generally like to advertise the fact that I blog to randoms, I eventually resorted to just saying "a friend wanted me to take pictures of what Ghanaian foods look like" as a means of explanation. It's not technically a lie....Well I realised that my long-promised "food" post had not materialised (sorry Afrocentric!) and so what better time to remedy this than now?

Tangerines: When I first saw these, I was like "why is this woman trying to palm us off with unripe fruit?" Let's just say that I finally saw the light when I took them home and got under their bright green skin. Yummy's not even the word. Here they are in my fruit basket with one random "normal"-coloured tangerine.

Oranges: I have a sliiiiiight obsession with oranges but I've never really taken to English oranges- too tasteless. In the ATL, the oranges from the Korean supermarket were a fave because they tasted "like Ghana oranges". So here's the real thing and they're a dream for a lazy cow like me because you can get them ready-peeled! This is a before and the after after I completely demolished it, complete with lip-gloss marks....

Alasa/ Adaswa: I literally screamed when I saw these. I remember them from when I was little and I hadn't had them since my mum randomly brought a couple back from a holiday when I was around 12/13. When ripe, these are quite sweet and they have about 4 shiny black seeds inside each one. Smallish in size, if you chew the flesh for a while it turns into chewing gum! How cool is that? They can also be incredibly sour when not fully ripe; kinda like any sweet from the sour section in a pick 'n' mix. Everybody tells me they're called alasa but I swear down I used to call them adaswa or something like that when I was little. Can anybody help me out with this?

Mangoes: I kept meaning to take pics of the small Ghana mangoes you rarely find in the UK but um, they never lasted that long. Ghana mangoes are my all-time favourite fruit so that's my excuse.

Pineapples: Eating pineapples in Ghana makes you steadily pissed that you've been spending money on impostor fruit that can't hold a candle to the ones here. Sweet is not even the word. Amaaaazing and the taste is simply sensational. Cutting pineapples, however, is not the business....

So here we are for starters and hopefully I won't take the piss in producing a part two!

I Like You...But I Love Somebody Else!

2010-03-13T22:42:00.004Z

This is the wonderful Tic Tac line from Kwani Kwani which me and the other girls love so much. In fact I have always wanted to say it to somebody. Which actually sounds quite mean however, I don't want to say it to be mean...well actually....errmmmmm...look right, THAT IS A LINE AND A HALF!

Anyhoo, as per Nsoromma, this post is gonna be all confused about love. You see, recently I (er-hmm) acquired a toy boy. And apart from not being overly broad, he is the physical definition of my type and SOOOOOO cute. And sweet. And adorable. Awwwwwwwwwwwwww. Jheeze. He approached me when he caught me making eyes at him. Can you believe I actually got caught? S-L-I-P-P-I-N-G! Jheeze!

But now the gloss is dissipating because his situ is somewhat messy. He has a clingy ex and a long-time-friend stroke love interest. Now tbh, I can't really complain to much about that but I will as my attention is more than a little divided. You see there's this dude my family has been tryna set me up with who I'm surprised I actually quite like. He's intelligent, kind, funny, cheeky and oddly sexy even though he's not physical my type much.

I guess I'm just a bit confused as the second guy seems pretty much perfect which scares the crap out of me but I know that with work the youngie has potential. The problem is that the second guy moves sooooo slow, something he warned me of but in real life, W-O-W, it's pretty much incomparable. Do I wait for him, as it seems the wait may be well worth it, as he has admitted to liking me?

But to limit myself from liking him too much whilst he moves like a snail I've been giving up a lot of my time (in retrospect, probably WAY too much) to the youngie. He's cute, he's sweet and I'm a bit bored so methinks why not. But now he has said 'I LOVE YOU'. Oh dear. I just kind of hug him and change the subject. But he knows I'm avoiding it.

Anyhoo, the reason I quoted the relationship guru that is Tic Tac (Muhahahahahaha!!! Mad crazy laugh time!), is that truly I like both guys and while I have been WAITING years to use this line. I'm starting to get scared that I may just have to!

Oh and in related news...the ex who shall forever remain hated is actually in a relationship with the girl he cheated on me for and in what feels like returning to a past life I am starting to fancy a promoter friend of mine. The wickedest thing is that I make cracks about it all the time to him, but now it's actually true.

I can only sigh and smh at my self.

Yours,

Nsoromma...COTH xXx

Happy Independence!

2010-03-06T18:56:00.004Z

This is a very quick one. I just really want to wish Ghana a happy 53rd birthday, and happy independence day to all of you. Ghana has come a long way, and we have a lot to be proud of. However you choose to celebrate, have fun and stay safe.

Cadbury and Kraft: Where does that leave us?

2010-03-04T22:36:00.006Z

Remember late last year when the colourful and lively "Zingolo" advert lit up our t.v. screens? If you need reminding, then check this out.

">

Before that, I had never been so excited to see my fave show break for adverts. And I STILL love watching it. As annoying as the "Zingolo" tune may be, we can't deny it is catchy. Also, to see a Ghanaian artist on another channel other than on OBE really is something! But the most important thing is that the advert made the British public aware of where the cocoa beans that make their chocolate come from. It also confirmed Cadbury's move to Fairtrade. Fairtrade is a non profit organisation which ensures that the people in poorer parts of the world who produce the raw materials needed to make some of the things we enjoy, such as tea, wine, or even cotton shirts are not ripped off.

Sadly, there are not a lot of companies that are Fairtrade certified. And it's sad that there are people all over the world who are not given the opportunity to make a decent living. I'm not going to pretend that I always check for the "Fairtrade" mark before I carelessly throw a packet of biscuits or a bag of sweets into my shopping trolley. But the Cadbury's advert has made me more aware.

The news of Cadbury's takeover by American food company, Kraft, left us in the UK wondering what would become of the Bourneville factory in Birmingham. Most importantly, what will happen to the thousands of jobs it provides, if it is to close down?

I would hate for all those jobs to be lost, trust me, I would. But Kraft's chief executive Irene Rosenfeld said "[she] warmly welcomes Cadbury employees into the Kraft Foods family". However, what will happen to the Cocoa farmers in Ghana? There has been so much discussion and dialogue over the loss of British jobs, but I haven't heard a peep about the fate of the Ghanaian farmers with no welfare system to fall back on and with little else but their cocoa farms. I have searched up and down the Cadbury's website, and can't find anything about how Kraft's takeover will affect the livelihoods of those producing the cocoa beans.

Let me finish by congratulating Cadbury for it's efforts in supporting Fairtade all over the word; in countries such as St. Lucia, India and South Africa.

Out with the Ex, in with the New

2010-02-22T15:50:00.004Z

I expected 2010 to be a much better year than its predecessors but I seriously did not consider that this year would bring reconciliation with people I had not spoken to for years and had subsequently written off for good. But I guess God has a way of bringing pleasant surprises our way. So far, making up with a family member I had sworn I would never talk to has been one of the best gifts I have received this year.

Remember in New Year, New Beginnings! I mentioned about an ex-boyfriend of mine who lives in Ghana, and ceases not to harass me? Rewind back to late 2007. It was round about then, I started getting to know him. For the benefit of anonymity, let's call him X (cos that is exactly what he is). I had known X for a couple of years before then (he was my cousin D's friend) but I had hardly said two words to him. So when this reserved, aloof and somewhat proud young man started talking to me and showing an interest, I immediately became intrigued, and towards the end of 2007 he became my boyfriend. Okay okay, I know I should have known better and trust me I have learnt:

1. NEVER EVER EVER get involved with someone who's is connected to your family in any way
2.The quiet ones usually have something to hide
3.If you have to keep your relationship a secret, then the two of you should probably not be having one

Anyway, during most of our relationship, I was living in France, and aside from the daily phone conversations and the odd visit here and there, I didn't really see him much. For some reason, X wanted to keep our relationship a secret because he knew my cousin D is a bit overprotective of me, and would be less than happy to find out his friend was going out with his little cousin. Living in the middle of nowhere in a foreign country, with no T.V. or internet connection can leave you disillusioned and very needy. (If you don't believe me, try it.) Every night, I would make sure I had done my assignments, had a shower, and had done all the other important things by 9.55pm, ready for to hear the sweet tune of my phone's ring tone at 10 o'clock. To be honest, I had never before been so happy to hear my phone ring.

During our conversations, we would speak about absolutely everything, including certain family members who always left me with a bad taste in my mouth. Every time I mentioned someones name, his response would be no more than "mmm,yeah, I have met her before" or "err, yeah, I think your cousin has introduced me to him before". Anyway, I thought nothing of it and we blissfully carried on with what I would later find out was one of the most deceitful relationships I have ever found myself in.

Well, to cut a very LOOOOOOOOOOONG story short, I returned to London during the Easter holidays, to find out that X used to go out with one of my cousins - a family member I had fallen out with and had not spoken to for around four years and had spent many nights bitching about to him over the phone (Can we call her V?). OK, I know you're probably rolling your eyes in disbelief at the fact that I had no idea that my boyfriend used to go out with cousin or shrugging your shoulders thinking "So? What's the big deal?". So let me clear a few things up:

1. I had barely seen or spoken to V in four years
2. I think it was a pretty insidious for him to not mention ANYTHING about their relationship, considering the fact her name had surfaced in our conversations quite a few times.

Well, anybody who knows me will not be surprised to read that I ended our relationship that very day. A bit drastic, you may think. But, I had to end it as it involved family (no matter how sour things between me and V may have gone), plus I was a little more than concerned about how easy it was for him to keep such vital information quiet. And although he made it his number one goal to win me back, the truth was, I just couldn't get back with him.

I know this blog post is becoming somewhat long and laborious to read, but I am getting to the end, I promise. Fast forward to January 2010, I was at work , when I read an e-mail stating that a few new-starters from another branch of the company were coming to mine the following day to receive their training and to go through their starter packs. The e-mail also included a list of names of the girls we were to be expecting. God must have a strange sense of humour because whose name should I see in that list but V's?

So roll on the next day, I was at work trying to keep busy, trying to forget about the butterflies in my stomach and trying to keep a fake smile plastered onto my face. I must have been looking at my watch for the umpteenth time, When V finally walked through the big glass doors of the shop.

After a few moments of staring at each other stupidly and performing a few conversational rituals ( How are you? Fine thank you, you?), she finally mustered up the courage to bring up the dreaded subject. Through our conversation, it became apparent that X had given her the impression that I had started a relationship with him knowing full well that she used to go out with him. And NO NO, that was not the only porky he was telling, he had also told her that we me and him were still involved!! (yes, he used to spend money and time to make phone calls from Ghana, so he could wind her up with his lies )What a bastard!

Well, once I had assured her that although breaking up with him was difficult, I would never knowingly go out of my way to hurt someone. Also, I couldn't trust him as far as I could throw him. Then reality sunk in. The truth was that we had been played off against each other (there were also a few not-so-nice things he had told me about her).

Well, as typical happy endings go, we made up and laughed over how stupid we had all been. We even exchanged numbers and promised to keep in touch. (Well you know, baby steps and all that. After all, four years is a looooong time!)

Okay, we have finally arrived at the end of this story. I know it was quite lengthy and complicated, so I thank you for your patience. But that is why it has taken me so damn long to post it! I will end by saying that sometimes, when you stubbornly want to hold onto a grudge, circumstances will put you in a position where you'll have to just let go. The one thing I have taken away from the whole experience, is that it is so important to communicate. Before things spiral out of control.

Doesn't that hurt?

2010-01-25T14:06:00.005Z

I recently went to a concert by British poet Michaela. It was really good, she is really good, but at one point I began to ask myself how is she doing this?

One song on her album, Fixing Barbie. is called 'Childhood Photographs' and it's about a suicidal friend of hers who blocks out the pain of losing her boyfriend by smoking illegal substances and cutting herself. D-E-P-R-E-S-S-I-N-G, I know but a beautiful song which is poignant in a nonchalant way (typical Michaela). Now I wonder for Michaela and for other artists, how can they bear to sing a song like that, which reminds them of a very painful time, or an ongoing problem? If I feel like crying when I hear it, how can she sing it at numerous concerts, make a video for it, practise it at rehearsals etc. etc.?

Blimey! These performer peeps are better than me at distancing themselves from personal pain or past emotions, I can still get very embarrassed thinking about that time I farted in a school disco and did not manage to cover it up, or angry at the thought of that 'friend' who slept with my boyfriend, I also still feel warm and fuzzy when I smell that boyfriend's 212 because these things happened to me and though I may not think about them all the time, they remain very real to me years after.

I don't know if I'm over-emotional, or if I'm clinging to anything I 've managed to remember as my post-baby memory deteriorates, but I take my hat off to those who can feel things deep enough to turn them into beautiful poems/songs, but disengage enough to sing/recite without becoming a wobbling mound of tears!

Boy, I know I was crying at that concert, and maybe somewhere deep, Michaela was too.

Excuse me, Are you Sure you are Ghanaian?

2010-01-23T22:32:00.005Z

Ga. Ashanti. Ewe. Fante. These are a few of many Ghanaian ethnicities. Believe it or not, Ghana is populated by a cool 23,000,000 people. With this is in mind, let me ask one question: Why on earth would anyone expect all Ghanaians to look the same?

As a Ghanaian woman living in London, this is a question that has wandered around my mind for some time now, and has still found no answer. Seriously, if I got one pesewa every time I was asked if I was Ghanaian, I would be a millionaire by now. I would be even richer if I received a pesewa for every time my response (a big YES) was followed by a look of surprise from my interlocutor. What do I need to do to prove to you that I am not Nigerian, Caribbean, Sierra Leonan and all the other nationalities I'm apparently supposed to be?

For those who walk around expecting me to be a few shades lighter than a black board and short with too much junk to fit in the trunk just because I happen to be of Ghanaian descent, you really need to take a trip back to Accra and take a good look around.

I remember being at a cousin's wedding. I was speaking to a family member, when I noticed a man nearby staring at me. Although I carried on with my conversation, I was becoming a bit unnerved by how intently I was being stared at. I was beginning think I can't take any more of this when he finally approached me and rudely interrupted my conversation, "eh! excuse me, are you a Ghanaian?"
"Um, yeah" (that was me, a little surprised about the audacity of some people). I then got the once over as this man's eyes slowly ran over my body, from head to toe. When he was done, he focused on my face again and responded "it's up to you."

THE CHEEK OF IT!

Although I understand for each nationality there may be a 'typical look', I don't get why people act shocked when they stumble upon someone who looks different from 'the typical'. It's not as if I go through life never expecting to be asked where I am from, I just find it very annoying when I am treated like a compulsive liar.

Flashback of the Day: Teddy Pendergrass

2010-01-21T12:22:00.005Z

With everything that has been going on recently, I had not been able to get this post out.

So here it is a little late, the first flackback for 2010 goes to the late great Mr Theodore DeReese Pendergrass (March 26, 1950 - January 13, 2010). Former lead singer of Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes. One of the great vocalists of our time.

I don't want to drag this out, but basically if you don't know get to know!

Here is the man himself on the amazing 'Love TKO'...enjoy.

And here with the Blue Notes breakout single from their debut album, 'If You Don't Know Me By Now' on Soul Train.

Again with the 1979 grammy-nominated 'Close The Door'.

'Wake Up Everybody' on Sooooooooooooul Train...

And one of my favourites, 'When Somebody Loves You Back'.

Teddy we miss you! RIP

xXx Nsoromma

Haiti

2010-01-13T20:07:00.000Z

I had a whole post planned about a new year and new beginnings and all that but when I heard about the earthquake in Haiti, I promptly forgot about all of that. For thousands of Haitians, there will be no new beginnings. This is a country, the poorest in the western hemisphere, that has seen her "new beginning" falter time and time again. This event is another blow to her legacy and it is the most shocking yet. I cannot possibly imagine the scale of the devastation nor can I begin to understand the helplessness the Haitian people must be feeling right now. All I can do is urge. If there are any helplines in the country in which you live, I ask you to donate. Haitian singer Wyclef Jean's foundation Yele is accepting donations, as is Medecins Sans Frontieres (Doctors without borders) and the International Red Cross. There is news coverage of the earthquake on all major news outlets at the moment so it's not difficult to keep informed.

Let's all send out some prayers for our brothers ans sisters in Haiti. How much suffering can one nation take?

New Year, New Beginnings!

2010-01-09T22:54:00.002Z

Happy New Year Everyone!I hope you enjoyed your holidays. Now that 2010 is finally with us, what do you hope to achieve? Although 2009 came with its good times, the biggest one for me being graduation, I must say I am glad it is over.

I feel much more positive about this year, I know the job hunting will finally lead to a new job, and I will finally be able to leave the world of retail! (I am not knocking it beacsue at the end of the day a job is a job!) I am just saying that season is over for me.

Also, I am praying things on the relationship front will start looking up. I intend to shake off the ex, who refuses to leave me alone although he lives miles away in Ghana. On top of that, I am done pining over guys whose phone calls I didn't even smell although they swore up and down they would text or call.

Next, the weight I steadily and slowly gained over 2009 has got to GO! (So that will be a big NO to big tins of maple syrup and large bars of Galaxy) ...OK, not totally, but just not as much as before. Lol!

This is just the beginning, there are a whole load of other things I intend on improving this year, but we'll take it one step at a time.

What are your thoughts about the new year? What do you want to improve/ change in you life? SHARE SHARE SHARE!

Christmas Greetings!

2009-12-24T23:38:00.003Z

Wow, it has been a while hasn't it? I guess we have been all wrapped up in Christmas madness. I for one, have been totally unavailable,working all hours God sends down, all the while sending off a million and one applications in search for another job, looking for Christmas presents for loved ones, and being generally exhausted to do anything else.
You have probably been as busy as I have, spinning around in circles and getting yourself all wound up. But while you get sucked in by all the superficial, commercial nonsense that the Christmas holidays have become, make sure you remember the real meaning of Christmas and the reason why you are celebrating it.
The true meaning of Christmas is an issue people like to throw around and debate about, each and every Christmas, merely talking about it to satisfy their conscience(I confess I am ,at times, one of those people) without really exerting much energy to ensure the real reason for the season is honoured.
We talk about it being a time for sharing with family and loved ones, when its very essence is a Saviour being born to the world to save humanity, God Himself coming into the world to live the human experience.
I am well aware of the fact that not everyone is christian, but whether you're an atheist or a Buddhist, if you are going to celebrate Christmas, at least take the time to know what exactly you are celebrating.
John Sentamu, the Archbishop of York likens society's treatment of Christmas to attending a birthday party with no gift for the birthday boy/girl, but instead a million pressies for all the other guests.
Wow! Now I feel like I'm preaching! Well, before I get carried away, I want to sincerely wish you all a very happy Christmas and a prosperous new year. Thank you for your support this year, and I hope you stick with us in 2010.
God richly bless you all.

The Danger of a Single Story

2009-12-05T22:36:00.007Z

Who here is sick and tired of other people's ignorant and misinformed ideas of Africa? Well, you are not the only one.

In the weeks leading up to my holiday in Ghana, I was hit by Ghana-fever and I couldn't stop talking about it. I drove everyone crazy with Ghana this and Ghana that. After ten years since my last holiday in the Land of Gold, a trip back to the motherland was well over due. So you can imagine my excitement once I had actually paid for my ticket. I remember a few weeks before my holiday in Ghana, I was at work when a dress in the stock room, waiting to be marked down and placed on the sale rack, caught my eye.

Mmm, I thought. This dress is not actually that bad. In fact, it will go down nicely in Ghana. It's a good price too, and if you take away the staff discount...by this time I was grinning from ear to ear.

So after my shift, I took the dress to my manager so I could buy it. Needless to say, she wasn't as enthusiastic about my decision to buy the dress. "Why are you buying this god-awful dress?" she asked.
"Cos, I like it", I was determined to stand my ground. "Plus, it will be perfect for clubbing in Ghana". She responded by giving me a puzzled look and saying "are there clubs in Ghana? I thought it was just mud huts and fig leaves".

Now, think about all the times someone has said something to piss you off, all the times someone has treated you like rubbish, and all the times you were enraged by something you saw. How did you feel? Well, that was exactly how I felt at that moment.

I knew there and then that what I really wanted to say to her could cost me my job, so instead, I took a deep breath and said, "why don't you educate yourself, so you don't say something like that again". Then it occurred to me, that all the images had seen and all the stories she had ever heard about Africa were of poverty, corruption, war and death. She had probably never been told that Africa was the richest land in natural resources, or that the world's oldest university is in Egypt. The story she had heard of Africa was the one not told by its own people. But the one that she had been told by the history books and by the media. "Anyway, it's not your fault", I muttered under my breath.

That is the danger of a single story. When somebody tells your story for you, and you have no say in how it is told, the truth becomes distorted. Let me leave you a clip of Chimamanda Adichie , the author of Purple Hibiscus and Half of a Yellow Sun. In it, she explains the danger of a single story in a more elaborate way. It's a bit long, but please click on the title of this post, which will lead you to the clip, and watch it to the end. There is a lot to be learnt.

Love thy neighbour?

2009-11-30T01:12:00.002Z

This past week, just as I was feeling jealous that our American friends were enjoying yet another Thanksgiving without me, I was informed that Ghana, too , would be having a long weekend break. Alas initial enquiries on why Friday was a holiday only provided vague mutterings of "some kind of Muslim holiday". I eventually found out that we had a day off so Muslims could celebrate Eid al-Adha, otherwise known as "Festival of Sacrifice". The only Eid I'd heard of was Eid al-Fitr, which celebrates the end of Ramadan so this was new to me. My aunt and I were invited to spend the day at her Muslim cousin's house where we ate and drank far too much. Friends and relatives were in and out of the house the whole day wishing everybody a happy Eid (and to get some cash) and there was enough food to even satisfy Boris Bogtrotter.

On the surface, there's nothing special about this. However, I had never been in the company of Christians and Muslims with so little tension. Everywhere I went on Friday, people seemed happy and there was a festive air in general. Now I can probably chalk that up to people being happy at the prospect of a three-day weekend but it was cool nonetheless. I can't possibly imagine this happening in a "multicultural" city like London where we're constantly reminded everyday just how much Christians and Muslims don't get along. My university was in East London, the heart of a predominantly South-Asian Muslim community, and to say tensions ran high would be a gross understatement. I only have to cast my mind back to the all the wahala the Danish cartoons of Mohammed caused. Therefore, since being in Ghana, I've really loved the way people seem to generally live and let live when it comes to religion.

Now I know us Christians can come in the overzealous types, determined to convert anybody and everybody, but I'm liking the way Muslims and Christians seem to get along side-by-side with minimal drama. Don't worry, I'm not living in fairy-land and I know it's not all roses and bunnies but a little tolerance goes a loooong way- on both sides. It'd be cool if I could dash some of that across the Atlantic.

(Also tried tubani for the first time. One word- delish! I think I could definitely give up meat and live the pescatorian life in GH. Lol)

Image translation: The picture is entitled "Eid's Paranoia". White sheep- "What do you think will happen to us this holiday?"Black sheep- "I hope, for God's sake, that we can run away and survive." (Very loose translation)

Image source

CA, C'EST VRAIMENT TOI

2009-11-20T23:34:00.007Z

I received a letter today from a man who NEVER writes letters, (trust me I've asked him for about two years to write me one!) It was so sweet, and in French and just..lovely!

Now, it's been hard going with this man, what was meant to be an island fling was forcibly converted into a lifelong commitment (through no fault of my own...I blame the baby lol) and there were times when I just couldn't wait to get away, imagine this I felt trapped by the baby and not him! Well there have been many terse words and intense silences between us but we decided to talk a few weeks ago and be clear about what we each wanted, he talked more than me but I managed to make myself clear that:

a) I'm NOT moving to a certain francophone Caribbean island as I will probably end up stuck at home with no career prospects OR in jail having killed his mother...kidding,

b) I want to finish my million masters' before I settle down because otherwise I might never do them,

c) We need a girl.

A very productive conversation that was, and so I was full of hope for our reunion in Paris, and apart from the ususal uselessness of men (calling me from sleep to change a nappy...are you Dumb? and no I did NOT do it!) it was all really ok, better than ok actually, GREAT! We laughed at the same stuff that nobody else found funny, we went out and saw the sights, we talked about our memories together and the things to come, it was just lovely! The baby took a bit of time getting used to daddy but I wasn't itching to get away, I enjoyed myself and it felt natural...AnD he bought lovely pressies (including a few designer garms!) AnD he has begun a change in personality that I thought would never happen - GOD IS GOOD!

Do good things always come to those who wait? With men, I don't think so , but sometimes you just have to have patience (and pray!) and for now I'm just happy happy happy - I say for now because I have never been one to fool myself that I'll get what I think I deserve -but as I said, I've seen some changes and for now (there it is again!) All is right with the world.

P.S while in Paris I watched the French X factor ( pronounced ix facteurrrr) and a blond rockky-chick sang a song called "Ca, C'est Vraiment Toi" about a wo/man and his/her quirks and their effect on the wo/man and how with all that it couldn't really be anyone else, and how that suited them fine and I really like that so here it is::::

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZf0hjx9FUU

Bonkers Banking in the Land of Gold

2009-11-17T18:36:00.003Z

Whilst at the Accra Mall last week, I decided to open an account at the Barclay's bank there. I have a Barclay's account in London too so it just seemed like common sense. Unfortunately, I didn't have all my relevant information I needed to finish opening my account there and then so the bank employee made me fill out the application form and I promised to return in a few days with all my supporting documents. The gentleman assured me that this would be no problem at all and that he was looking forward to seeing me in a few days. I really didn't want to be one of those people who's constantly comparing Ghana with what I've come to know but DAMN! I just had to share some of the different banking practices between my home country and my adopted country(ies).

When I returned two days later in order to finish opening the account, I went into the bank looking for a "personal banker" kiosk or office of some sort. Instead, there was a man and a woman sitting side by side in front of their computers right next to the long line for the telllers. Fortunately for me, there was no queue for the "personal bankers" when I entered so the man immediately summoned me over. Now this was a different man from the one I had seen previously and after searching for my application for fifteen minutes, he told me to start filling out another one whilst he continued to look for the one I had filled out earlier. "Why continue to search for it if you're still going to make me fill out another form?" was the thought that immediately popped into my head, however, I chose not to verbalise that thought and dutifully began to fill in the form.

So while I was filling out the form which asks personal questions like my name, address, telephone number, income, etc. etc., a man and woman sat on either side of me. They were close, like shoulder-to-shoulder close, and the woman happily began to read over my shoulder. I stopped writing and stared at her with a bemused look on my face. She merely grinned at me and continued to peruse my application like she was checking for spelling mistakes. She then asked the banker to check her account balance for her and he did so within plain view of myself.

While the banker was "processing" my new application form, he stopped to deal with at least 6 other customers, with no semblance of privacy, so it took exactly 47 minutes (I checked) for my account to be opened. I was then told that I would get a whopping 10 free cashpoint withdrawals with the opening of my account (!). The process took even longer because the banker insisted on flirting heavily with every woman that approached the desk- myself included.

So it was a great relief when I finally left the bank clutching my brand new ATM card, vowing never to return until absolutely necessary. Fastforward to the next day and I receive a call on my phone from a number I don't recognise. I tentatively answer the call:

Banker: "Good afternoon Sankofa. How are you today?"
Sankofa: "Fine thank you.Um who is this please?"
Banker: "It's me from the bank! Have you forgotten me already?"
Sankofa: "Erm... is there any trouble with my account?"
Banker: "Oh not at all, I just wanted to call and say hello. Since you seemed to be in a rush yesterday, I thought we could talk today."
Sankofa: ".........."
Banker: "Hello? Are you there?"
Sankofa: "You know what? I'm a little busy at the moment so I'm going to have to talk to you later" (CLICK!)

I could hardly believe my ears. This man essentially steals my telephone number from a "confidential" application form and he expects me to be happy to hear from him? This was compounded by the fact that this was the second time in a week this had happened to me. A worker at MTN also decided it would be okay to "steal" my number whilst apparently "fixing" my phone for me. And to rub salt in the wound, the damn phone still wouldn't connect to the internet! Is telephone number theft the norm nowadays?

Image source

The Pain Of My Love For You

2009-11-15T01:19:00.004Z

I have walked to the ends of the earth

For you.

I have run marathons

And climbed mountains.

I swam oceans,

'Til my arms ached.

I can't catch my breath

My knuckles bleed

And my feet are blistered.

My eyes swim with tears

But always

I will push on

To be with you.

Give Thanks

2009-11-11T22:46:00.004Z

I understand why you may be less than perky. I can't say I blame you. With all the doom and gloom, the ever increasingly short days and crappy weather and all the news on the vast amount of soldiers dying in the war, you may feel justified for feeling a bit miserable.

BUT...

Shouldn't we be grateful for life? The fact that the cold is enough to make us want to lock ourselves indoors with the heater on full blast not proof that God has preserved our lives up until now?

Today, you may have observed the two minute silence, in respect of those who have lost their lives in battle (may their souls rest in perfect peace, and may their loved ones find the strength to carry on), but I also spent the day being thankful for the gift of life.

A beloved church sister lost her battle with cancer yesterday, and she is no longer with us. This has made me realise that no matter the issues I am dealing with, it is important to live each day to the fullest.

Reader, remember this, you may be struggling to find a job, you may have just broken up with your boyfriend/ girlfriend or dealing with a multitude of other problems, but REMEMBER to be thankful for your life!

R.I.P Maame Jones. I know you are in a better place.

When will we remember them?

2009-11-10T02:41:00.002Z

Ever since I first stepped foot on English soil, on the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month, the whole country falls into a two-minute silence in order to honour the British men and women who have died for their country since the First World War. The build-up to Remembrance day is inescapable and on Remembrance Sunday, chapel services are held all over the country in order to give due to all those who have died in the name of Britain and the Commonwealth.

I remember being barely out of primary school when I discovered that other brown faces, aside from South-Asian ones, were also part of the First and Second World War effort. Imagine my shock when I discovered that West Africans, East Africans, Southern Africans, and men and women from the Caribbean had also joined the allied powers and laid down their lives for the good of the "Great British Empire". Some colonial soldiers voluntary joined the British forces because they genuinely believed they were British and needed to protect their mother country. Others were forced to join via conscription. Whatever their reasons for joining, these men and women fought just as hard as white Brits in the quest to defend Britain and her allies. However, although South-Asian contribution to the wars has been well-documented, with support for Nepalese veterans from famous faces, I feel that African and Caribbean contributions to the two World Wars have been chronically ignored. The number of Africans that were part of the war effort is truly astounding:

The accompanying article from the BBC does a far better job than me in illustrating just how much Africa did for the allied forces and it's definitely worth a read. All I'm asking is that tomorrow, when your hand is below your red poppy in that two-minute silence, spare a thought for the hundreds of thousands of Africans whom the British would like to gently erase from the history books.

They went with songs to the battle, they were young.

Straight of limb, true of eyes, steady and aglow.

They were staunch to the end against odds uncounted,

They fell with their faces to the foe.

They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old:

Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.

At the going down of the sun and in the morning,

We will remember them.

Image source

Poem from For the Fallen by Laurence Binyon (Ode of Remembrance), 1914

Flashback of the Day: Bell Biv Devoe - Poison

2009-11-05T11:08:00.003Z

Are you in good mood today? I am! So I decided to flashback to this good old fashioned 1990's new jack swing jam. You best be dancing along!

All together now, 'That girl is pooooisoooooooooooooooooooooooon....'

Attack of the LAFA!

2009-11-03T12:15:00.004Z

You know, it's one thing to hear about a phenomenon, but nothing beats experiencing the real thing. Friends who had recently returned from Ghana had complained incessantly about the rise and rise of the LAFA. Huh? That was my initial reaction too. It stands for "Locally Acquired Foreign Accent". You see, as part of some Ghanaians' haste to embrace anything and everything foreign, the beautiful Ghanaian accent has fallen victim to tragic butchering. As a linguist (3 years of uni is worth it just to be able to say that. Yay me! Lol), I'm well aware of the fluidity of accents and how easy they adapt and merge. However, there is a patent difference between somebody who has lived in a different culture and has therefore adopted (consciously or unconsciously) the local accent, and a person who has never stepped foot outside the country for any length of time.

I remember when we we in our teens, Friday's Afro and I would call this an "Aferican" accent and it's sad to see the phenomenon has not died out but seems to be under going some kind of revival. Originally the property of the Ashanti "bogas", the LAFA is thriving everywhere. In my experience, most Ghanaians speak excellent English but I can't count the amount of times I've heard people apologising for their English merely because they don't possess some kind of foreign accent. What is so special about a foreign accent? What are the thought processes that lead a person to think it's normal to fake an accent? Can anybody out there enlighten me?

On the flipside, since my arrival in Ghana, I've become a victim of what I call "accent-ism". I've been introduced to people who are perfectly pleasant until I open my mouth. The English accent provokes a total and complete shut down in pleasantries. Often the person will adopt a look suggesting they have just smelled something bad (it's not my armpits, I checked...) and even Stevie Wonder can see the "wo ye too-known" look that passes across the face. I'm by no means suggesting that everybody has been like this but I'm beginning to see that the accent war goes both ways. Now what kind of fuckeries is that?

To see a fantastic LAFA at work, check out the link below. You have been warned...
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=100986489923283

Now what experiences of the LAFA or accent-ism have you experienced?

Book Review: 'La Femme sans Sepulture' by Assia Djebar

2009-11-02T14:31:00.013Z

I did a French with Linguistics degree at King's College, London and this was one of the books on the reading list for a course on Maghrebi (French North African) writing.

This tale of memory and searching is written by Assia Djebar, a veritable G in francophone African literature from Algeria. Djebar, real name Fatima-Zohra Imalayen, writes mostly about the struggles of women especially in relation to Islam, the effects of war on the woman's mind and artfully deals with the clashes and harmonies between old and new, tradition and progress.
Assia Djebar was born in Cherchell, a small coastal town near Algiers, the capital of Algeria. Her father was a french teacher and the culmination of this and her study of classic arabic gave her the linguistic flexibilty to manipulate the french language giving it Arabic sounds and rhythms.
Her feminist stance, use of French and often dissident voice has led to much international praise, but also to hostility from nationalistic critics in Algeria.

In this novel Djebar portrays herself as a journalist and returning daughter to Cherchell, once called Césarée, home to research the story and find the bones of a legendary female Mujahddin (fighter/warrior) Zoulikha Oudai who helped the nationalistic rebels resist the French during the Algerian civil war in 1976.
As is commonplace in the work of Djebar, she portrays herself as an outsider, named only l'invitee, la visiteuse or l'etrangere*, and she delves, rather like a anthropological archaeologist into the past of the whole region through the recollections of the daughters, friends and acquaintances of Zoulikha.
For those who know Djebar's work this novel finds itself a stepping-stone in a path of writing begun with 'Women of Algiers in their apartments' (1980) and 'So Vast the Prison' (1995) and thus continues in the literary traditions of these two novels, this is perhaps the reason why Djebar installs an aura of déjà vu in the prelude to the book.

Djebar manages to interweave reality and fiction in this work, using her real conversations with the 'women of Césarée' with her own imagined scenes from that heated time in the 70s when Zoulikha was alive and the war raged. Through the visiting of the ruins of the ancient town, the whole war as experienced by the little towns of Algeria is portrayed and revisited.

The title of the book means The Woman without a Grave and this talks of Zoulikha's unknown final resting place, a result of her assumed murder by the french military and the consequent eradication of her name in history.

This book is laden with imagery and has an intensity which is thick almost to the point of viscosity, drawing the reader fully into the stories within the story and into the humid, heady atmosphere of post and pre-independence Algeria.

I must admit that this book is rather heavy-going but can be read quickly if focused on, I could not really write a synopsis, evaluation book review on this one because there are many intertwining synopses and undercurrents of history and feminism.

Djebar does not find the real bones of Zoulikha, and to my mind there is the suggestion that she will never be laid to rest in even a metaphorical grave. The stories surrounding her are often fantastical, but sometimes mundane, embittered (such as the tale of one daughter who felt abandoned) but also laudatory (as shown in another daughter's heroine-view of her mother) and therefore the many contradictions ensure that her story is always being 'exhumed'.

All in all this is a powerful testament to the ongoing strength of storytelling and especially of female remembrance even in the most paternalistic societies. Although Djebar writes pessimistically about the ability of women to shine in an overbearing patriarchy, here she fairly paints Zoulikha as a real heroine, even if she does not have a day to remember her. the honesty of the accompanying portrayals of this normal abnormal woman illustrate the human side to the ghostly figure of the grave-less heroine.

*the invited, the visitor, the stranger (All translations my own )

Flashback to the 90s:1998

2009-11-01T02:15:00.004Z

This is the latest Sankofa/Nsoromma flashback to the 90's long time in coming I know (sorry-oo!). So here we go in no particular order...

1. Be Careful- Sparkle ft. R. Kelly

Here's the first if many that year that had me screaming, 'that's my jam!', and it really was. Honest to goodness I knew all the words (I know, I know, saddo, right?). So all together now.... 'Two years ago promises is all I heardddddddddddd...WAIT A MINUTE! Let me finish!...'

2. Sweet Lady- Tyrese

Introducing that fine black dude from the Diet Coke adds, a.k.a. Tyrese Gibson, my 1990's (and beyond) celebrity crush. Sings like an angel, looks like....dang! Dude is fiiiine!

3. Westside- TQ

Now I'm not afraid to admit (though truthful I am slightly ashamed) that I was a TQ fan and I own the album that spawned this mega hit. That still gets me when I'm in a chillaxing mood...

4. Boy You Knock Me Out- Tatyana Ali
Awww, when Ashley from Fresh Prince decided to have a music career, this is what resulted. Here's her biggest song to date, and I'm only aware of one more godawful song after this one. But hey, you never know, bad music is in at the moment so she might make a comeback. And BTW, the dance moves in this vid are SPECTACULAR!!! Wowzers.

5. Teardrops- Lovestation

I think this song is a 1990's classic dance track. Love it to death and I still listen to it today. 'Whenever I hear goodbyes, reminds me baby of you...'

6. Are You That Somebody- Aaliyah

Wow, another one that throws me back in time. I knew all Timbaland's ad-libs to this song ('dirty south, uh huh, can you feel this, baby girl, east coast feel this, uh huh, west coast feel this, say what,...' yes there are more!). Oh saddo that I am! So much so that in a school dance this song was used and I came on at the beginning, dressed as Timbaland, to 'perform'...*cringes at the memory*. Anyhoo, the vid is much better than my caterwauling so enjoy!

7. Who Am I- Beenie Man

This was the dancehall jam of the time and if you do not that, where were you? If you don't know gets to know mehn! Jeheez!

8. (Doo Wop) That Thing- Lauryn Hill

This song is so great, nothing I have do say could do it justice. It was just about the biggest anthem around at the time and Lauryn 'gorgeous' Hill was off the chain!

Lyric of the song for me...'the second verse is dedicated to the men, more concerned with his rims and his Tims than his women...'...chick was not just a singer but a Hip Hop great.

9. Cheers To You- Playa

Maaaaaaaaan, I love the 1990's! This song reminds me why and it is still a banger. 'Ohhhh! If I had a wish, baby, I wish...'

10. They Don't Know- Jon B
This is pure beautiful 1990's R&B. The white boy of R'n'B. Why can't they make them like this anymore? *sigh*
Jon B - They Don't Know (Official Music Video) - Click here for the funniest movie of the week

1998 honourable mentions for the following songs:

1. Be Alone No More- Another Level

2. Heads High - Mr Vegas

3. The Boy Is Mine - Monica ft. Brandy

4. How Deep Is Your Love - Dru Hill

5. Love Like This- Faith Evans

6. End of the Line- The Honeyz

Shout out to the second UK honourable mention, awww, the Honeyz. Anyone else remember them?

7. Make It Hot- Nicole Wray ft. Missy Elliott & Mocha

Missy - 'Me with no Timbaland is like Puff with no Ma$e!' LYRIC!!!!

8. Pretty Fly (For a White Guy) - The Offspring

9. Ghetto Superstar- Pras ft. Mya & ODB

10. Save Tonight- Eagle Eye Cherry

We got you wanting a 1998 party, alie?

xXx Nsoromma & Sankofa

Laugh of the Day

2009-10-30T11:13:00.001Z

THIS gave me a good chuckle this morning. You have to wonder at the thought processes that were put into place before this endeavour....

Book Review: 'Changes' by Ama Ata Aidoo

2009-10-28T13:45:00.003Z

In the relative boredom of my life at the moment I've been scouring through my mate Afrocentric's extensive book shelves...after all what are friends for? Anyhoo, knowing me she recommended Changes by Ama Ata Aidoo since I've never read it, so here's my review....

Title: Changes: A Love Story

Author: Ama Ata Aidoo

First published: 1991

Story: The book follows the married life of Esi, who is an independent and educated woman frustrated with what she considers the drudgery of her life. She finds it hard to balance a demanding job with the demands of being a mother, wife and home maker. In Esi's world it is almost impossible for these two sides of her life to happily co-exist. Her husband, Oko, is also frustrated in their marriage and they are each trying to discover a balance in which they can both be happy. She finds her husband affections cloying while he finds her job a threat to their marriage and feels disgraced that he should be vying with her job for her attention. One morning Oko, decides to seduce Esi in a last ditch attempt to revitalise their marriage. Esi is unimpressed and what ensues is Oko raping his wife. From then on their marriage implodes and eventually the two divorce. Drawing ridicule for Esi from her in-laws and confusing her own family as to why she wants to divorce such a good man.

Around this time Esi meets the handsome Ali and following her divorce, they become involved. Ali is a well educated Muslim man, with a well educated wife who was forced to leave her education behind to raise their family. Despite her recent divorce, Ali's wife, and warnings for Esi from her nana and best friend Opokuya; Esi becomes his second wife. Married bliss does not last long and eventually Esi realises she is no longer happy. Ali feels his home is with his first wife and Esi get's only snippets of his life. And these snippets decrease the longer they remain married, soon he is giving her the excuses he was giving his first wife when Esi first met him. The book ends with Esi coming to terms with her new married situation.

Review: Sometimes when I read a book I have a silent little moment at the end when I love it. I had that with this book. I find it so sad. At times throughout the book, Esi annoys me because I feel she is a selfish character yet I can't help but support her attempts to truly acquire happiness instead of giving up and giving in like all the other females in the story. However, she does give in—in the end—to a situation which even she seems to realise is worse than that she started in. In some ways this book can be seen as an affirmation that African woman cannot have it all, in terms of a happy marriage, happy kids and a fulfilling career. But rather than that, this book feels like a subtle warning to be aware of what you hold and to cherish it. Esi should have been a little less self absorbed and realised her blessings in the first place, and even though I admired her courage to look for her happiness in the end I pitied the life she ends up with. Oh mobo! I really did enjoy this book. I'm impressed that it touches on marital rape in Africa, the martial destruction it can cause, the honest and innocent (?!) ways in which it can occur and the way society views it all; yet this is all done without detracting from the main story and becoming a crusade thinly veiled in a story. The peripheral characters such as Esi's mother and her nana; the side story of Ali's wife's personal struggles between education and family; and the interaction between Opokuya, Esi and Opokuya's husband all add a bit of positivity to Esi's sad story making you aware that her life does not exist in a vacuum of other factors. It was also brave that Esi left her daughter with Oko's mother and the author does not paint this act as evil merely the actions of a conflicted and honest character that she simultaneously loves and fears her daughter's presence in her life. Most of all I like this book because it all seems very real. A thoroughly good read, and not long winded in the least at under 200 pages!

Ratings: I give this book four little nsoromma's out of five! 4/5 stars

Image credits

Mind the Gap: Some General Observations About London Travel

2009-10-22T11:01:00.001+01:00

I was having a conversation recently with Afrocentric and Nsoromma about travel in London and it was interesting to say the least. Travel in London has the potential to be soul-destroying or life-affirming. Hopefully, it'll lean towards the latter if you take note of some of these general observations. Now place your tongue firmly in cheek and remember these the next time you venture out with your (increasingly expensive) travelcard!

1. If there are empty seats available anywhere on the bus/ tube/ train, DO NOT SIT NEXT TO ME! You have just given your thanks to God above when you get on a half-empty tube/ train carriage or bus when a leering man decides to park himself right next to you. Never mind the 15 other empty seats available. It's Boris Johnson's law that somebody must sit uncomfortably close to you, stinking of stale cigarettes, whilst trying to rub himself against you. With that goes your 27 minutes of thinking up what excuse you're going to give work about why you're late (again), instead, begins the game of how far away you can edge away from the person whilst they're trying to physically sit on your lap....

2. It is not proper transport etiquette to stare at your fellow passengers during the daily rush hour. Yes we're a city of people watchers but one must be subtle with it. So when the 6"3 man wearing a tartan dress, bovver boots, and sporting acid pink hair steps onto the Northern line at Camden, feel free to stare at him all you like but only via the reflection of the windows! I can't vouch for your safety once the words that strike fear into every Londoner's heart are uttered: "What you looking at?!"

3. One must remember that the South Londoner is a different breed of Londoner, in particular those that hail from the South Eastern region. Eye contact is seen in one of two ways: a declaration of war, or an indication of willingness to marry a person. A personal music player and an engrossing book are your only friends in this part of town.

4. There's no point running for the bus. Really. Most bus drivers take malicious pleasure in watching you frantically waving at them to stop via their side mirrors. 171 bus drivers in particular take great enjoyment in waiting until you're a a mere metre away from the stop and then zooming away into traffic with enough skills to rival Jenson Button. If you're lucky and a driver takes pity on you, by the time you pant and heave your way onto the bus winded by the whole 20 metres you had to run, the hostile stares of your fellow passengers will be enough to ruin your morning. They'll have to wait a whole 36 seconds as you simultaneously hunt for your Oyster card (you probably left it on the kitchen table) whilst trying not to display just how unfit you really are.

These are just some of the few recurring travel observations we made. How's travel different where you live?

Image Source