Ok, so Nsoromma wanted to know more about the cage-fighter...
He was your typical white man on the hunt for something exotic... He looked at me like I was lunch!
So I agreed to meet him 7 overground train stops AWAY from my house (why do I do this?) and when I got there he immediately flagged down an approaching bus - here's the ensuing conversation-
Me: (nonplussed) errrr why do we need a bus? we're in the centre of town
Him: (nonchalant) Oh, to go to my house
Me: (sardonic) I'm not going to your house MATE, I don't actually know you, let's just get a drink here
Him: (slimy) Oh come on baby (Me: Baby?) I'm an events planner (Really?) so I've wine at mine, it's so annoying to have to buy it again outside
Me: (ghetto) Nah bruv, you must be loopy, what, are you taking me for a drink or what?
Him: (glowering) OK fine.
After this there wasn't much conversation, when I said "let's talk" he rolled his eyes, picked his nose and said "ok , 'talk' " (making inverted commas with his hands) In short it became...well difficult, especially when the hand tried to travel to ( as he put it) my 'strrrrrong thighs mmmm'
UGH, shudder with me readers, I high-tailed it outta there, gross.
He sent me two lewd messages then buggered off (Phew!) But as I said, it was cool to be on a date, and he wasn't evil or anything so never mind eh?
Anyway, since then there's been the sexy TWENTY YEAR OLD (who was really about 17) from Guadeloupe ( I didn't know 'e was a minor officer!), the old school and uni friend who is sweet but annoying and the new obsession. If you want to know more let me know, there's a lot to tell!
I am praying through all this, and God must have a sense of humour 'cos he is bringing me BARE jokes along this journey.
Anyone else got some dating jokes, disasters or successes? Let us know x
Friday's Teeny Weeny Afro
* Not how my cage-fighter looked...
In the slightest...