I know I've been MIA. But sometimes you just need me time. Down time, so sorry. But happy 2012 everyone! This one is gonna be a good one! Something has been sitting on me about last year, and I wanted to share. Despite not being here much last year. it was a good year for me and I thought I'd mention some highlights...they'll put this year into perspective...

On 31st December 2010 at church a wrote a list of five things. Very specific, that I wanted to begin in my life. And as I get each of them I'll let you know on here. I prayed to God for them, and believed in him to answer my prayers.

One of the things I asked for was a permanent job by the end of 2011, paying a minimum of £30,000. Considering I was in my first job, post-masters, barely any experience, earning £21,000, in the middle of a recession, on a temporary contract, it seemed beyond far from where I was then. Plus I was due to be out of contract at the end of January 2011. The team was full, and my manager was advising me on where to apply for jobs at my level. Maybe earning slightly more. £24,000 including London weighting looked reasonable.

So following my prayer I started looking for jobs in the region of £27,000...ambitious for my level, but with London weighting of around £3,000, that would bump me up to £30,000...just about.

Then an AMAZING thing happened. Three positions opened up in my team. One at £21,000 and two at £32,000. My manager encouraged me to apply for the one at my level, I was doing well, practically in-post and pretty much guaranteed it.

I didn't apply for it. I applied for one of the £32,000 roles...and I got it. First choice candidate with the highest score in the interview and application. And I was expecting to get the job around December as I had put a time-cap on my very specific prayer...it came in MAY. Plus I get a travel allowance bonus. It's funny...I was scrapping around to JUST make the mark for what I had asked God for and he gave me just so much MORE!

Another prayer I prayed after having just broken up with my boyfriend was that I want to meet and know who my future husband would be by the end of the year. I started to date someone pretty soon in the new year who I had known since I was about 13...comfortable. He was nice, sweet, attentive and INTO ME. Like really. He seemed just so proud to be by my side. And he was God-fearing. PRAISE GOD.

But AMAZINGLY, I got back with this Ex from December 2010 (since blogging was SPARSE at the time, he has yet to be mentioned on here...). We didn't push our relationship. Or try to define it. After breaking up we went back to the basics of our friendship and it just seemed to grow from there. I never saw it coming. He just seemed to come out with it one day when we were talking, that he wants to be with me...and I just thought, yes. That was around April and we are STILL very happy together. Even more AMAZINGLY we both took it seriously, so much more than first time around. He is the first man to have ever been introduced to my family as my boyfriend and he has been very well received. And I have been invited to meet his family too...

And funnily enough, it has been easier this time. Which NEVER happens when you get back with an Ex. When we first got together I kind of saw him as a time filler. A nice guy but not the man of my dreams. I find it truly amazing that he seems to be everything I ever wanted. And not in the least who I expected him to be. I have never been happier.

THEN 30th December 2011, he PROPOSED. All of a sudden my mind flashes back to the prayer I made and I think 'Oh My Days, really?!'. Saying yes was the easiest thing I have ever done.

God gave me EVERYTHING last year, He is truly the best thing in my life. And all the good I have in my life can be traced right back to Him. 2011 was magical for me. And it looks set to continue.

I am TOTALLY psyched for 2012!!!!!

What did God do for you to psych you for 2012?

Since the bad break up I went through back in November I have whole heartedly thrown nay, CATAPULTED myself into the wonderful world of dating. It has been interesting to say the least, and I have learnt a few lessons, which I think I should share with the friends and readers of LALI...

When I was in university, I remember being at a rave and Mr. Play was on the mic telling girls to fix their faces when they are approached for a dance because 'A DANCE IS NOT A RELATIONSHIP AND A RELATIONSHIP IS NOT A DANCE'. This is true of dating too. It's just a date, an opportunity for us to get to know one another so don't let the guy see it as a down payment for future 'fun' or anything else like that. You're just sharing company, capece?

I was almost strong-armed into a relationship with a nice enough guy because he was so on it, and he's a nice guy and all. I enjoyed his company and his dates. He had imagination and was such a gentleman, but he just didn't set my heart alight, you know? And he stayed pleading for me to just give him a chance but I genuinely like him...enough to not lead him on. I had to be firm and I felt like the biggest bitch but it was very necessary. I'm NOT gonna do him like that and do the next girl out of an amazing guy. He just wasn't for me.

Now this sounds standard, but I wanted attention and got into the habit of dates to such a degree that I was prepared to bare his company so that I wasn't bored at home. But then I realised, 'Girl, you know you'd rather sleep, study, bore your own eyes out with a sharp implement a la Houston' than spend time with this dude. So I finally got a clue and got rid of him.

Just as YOU don't want a guy to get obsessed in a matter of days, remember to slow your roll. He's sussing you out too, and he also has the prerogative to say, uh-uh she's not the girl for me. Chalk it down to experience and keep it moving.

I personally like to go on dates which I know I could bail myself out of if needs must. If he has table manners like a horse, I can just leave my part of the bill and bounce. Or cover it if he ain't got enough. Or just pay to shut the dude up if he goes on a rant about girls who just wanna take his money. If paying is not an option for you right now (think temporarily without funds, NOT broke), then before we go I will let a brother know look I can't get this. I set out the terms and conditions so that when we get there we all know where we stand. But if I initiated the date I will pick up the check.

I do not prescribe a date venue but 'back to your place' does not constitute a date. It represents a sad lack of imagination and an opportunistic leech. Particularly if we just met and I am not giving you those vibes.

And in related news.... DOES NOT CONSTITUTE A DATE, IT'S OVER PRICED CHICKEN AND CHIPS! Get a clue!

Happy dating!

;)

Nsoromma xXx

Anyhoo, as per Nsoromma, this post is gonna be all confused about love. You see, recently I (er-hmm) acquired a toy boy. And apart from not being overly broad, he is the physical definition of my type and SOOOOOO cute. And sweet. And adorable. Awwwwwwwwwwwwww. Jheeze. He approached me when he caught me making eyes at him. Can you believe I actually got caught? S-L-I-P-P-I-N-G! Jheeze!

But now the gloss is dissipating because his situ is somewhat messy. He has a clingy ex and a long-time-friend stroke love interest. Now tbh, I can't really complain to much about that but I will as my attention is more than a little divided. You see there's this dude my family has been tryna set me up with who I'm surprised I actually quite like. He's intelligent, kind, funny, cheeky and oddly sexy even though he's not physical my type much.

I guess I'm just a bit confused as the second guy seems pretty much perfect which scares the crap out of me but I know that with work the youngie has potential. The problem is that the second guy moves sooooo slow, something he warned me of but in real life, W-O-W, it's pretty much incomparable. Do I wait for him, as it seems the wait may be well worth it, as he has admitted to liking me?

Now, it's been hard going with this man, what was meant to be an island fling was forcibly converted into a lifelong commitment (through no fault of my own...I blame the baby lol) and there were times when I just couldn't wait to get away, imagine this I felt trapped by the baby and not him! Well there have been many terse words and intense silences between us but we decided to talk a few weeks ago and be clear about what we each wanted, he talked more than me but I managed to make myself clear that:

a) I'm NOT moving to a certain francophone Caribbean island as I will probably end up stuck at home with no career prospects OR in jail having killed his mother...kidding,

b) I want to finish my million masters' before I settle down because otherwise I might never do them,

c) We need a girl.

A very productive conversation that was, and so I was full of hope for our reunion in Paris, and apart from the ususal uselessness of men (calling me from sleep to change a nappy...are you Dumb? and no I did NOT do it!) it was all really ok, better than ok actually, GREAT! We laughed at the same stuff that nobody else found funny, we went out and saw the sights, we talked about our memories together and the things to come, it was just lovely! The baby took a bit of time getting used to daddy but I wasn't itching to get away, I enjoyed myself and it felt natural...AnD he bought lovely pressies (including a few designer garms!) AnD he has begun a change in personality that I thought would never happen - GOD IS GOOD!