Title: Changes: A Love Story

Author: Ama Ata Aidoo

First published: 1991

Story: The book follows the married life of Esi, who is an independent and educated woman frustrated with what she considers the drudgery of her life. She finds it hard to balance a demanding job with the demands of being a mother, wife and home maker. In Esi's world it is almost impossible for these two sides of her life to happily co-exist. Her husband, Oko, is also frustrated in their marriage and they are each trying to discover a balance in which they can both be happy. She finds her husband affections cloying while he finds her job a threat to their marriage and feels disgraced that he should be vying with her job for her attention. One morning Oko, decides to seduce Esi in a last ditch attempt to revitalise their marriage. Esi is unimpressed and what ensues is Oko raping his wife. From then on their marriage implodes and eventually the two divorce. Drawing ridicule for Esi from her in-laws and confusing her own family as to why she wants to divorce such a good man.

Around this time Esi meets the handsome Ali and following her divorce, they become involved. Ali is a well educated Muslim man, with a well educated wife who was forced to leave her education behind to raise their family. Despite her recent divorce, Ali's wife, and warnings for Esi from her nana and best friend Opokuya; Esi becomes his second wife. Married bliss does not last long and eventually Esi realises she is no longer happy. Ali feels his home is with his first wife and Esi get's only snippets of his life. And these snippets decrease the longer they remain married, soon he is giving her the excuses he was giving his first wife when Esi first met him. The book ends with Esi coming to terms with her new married situation.

Review: Sometimes when I read a book I have a silent little moment at the end when I love it. I had that with this book. I find it so sad. At times throughout the book, Esi annoys me because I feel she is a selfish character yet I can't help but support her attempts to truly acquire happiness instead of giving up and giving in like all the other females in the story. However, she does give in—in the end—to a situation which even she seems to realise is worse than that she started in. In some ways this book can be seen as an affirmation that African woman cannot have it all, in terms of a happy marriage, happy kids and a fulfilling career. But rather than that, this book feels like a subtle warning to be aware of what you hold and to cherish it. Esi should have been a little less self absorbed and realised her blessings in the first place, and even though I admired her courage to look for her happiness in the end I pitied the life she ends up with. Oh mobo! I really did enjoy this book. I'm impressed that it touches on marital rape in Africa, the martial destruction it can cause, the honest and innocent (?!) ways in which it can occur and the way society views it all; yet this is all done without detracting from the main story and becoming a crusade thinly veiled in a story. The peripheral characters such as Esi's mother and her nana; the side story of Ali's wife's personal struggles between education and family; and the interaction between Opokuya, Esi and Opokuya's husband all add a bit of positivity to Esi's sad story making you aware that her life does not exist in a vacuum of other factors. It was also brave that Esi left her daughter with Oko's mother and the author does not paint this act as evil merely the actions of a conflicted and honest character that she simultaneously loves and fears her daughter's presence in her life. Most of all I like this book because it all seems very real. A thoroughly good read, and not long winded in the least at under 200 pages!

Ratings: I give this book four little nsoromma's out of five! 4/5 stars

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Well I do and I believe most people in the world also love vaginas.Whatever you choose to call them: vajayjays; pussies; fannies; coochies and the like, who doesn't love them? They are the source of much pleasure and the porthole of life. However, there clearly some in this world who do not have the same respect for vaginas as I do. I'm talking about Female Genital Mutilation (FGM). Specifically about FGM in Ghana. I don't know about you but I was shocked when I discovered that FGM was practised in areas of Ghana. I've long been aware of the process of FGM in countries all over the world, particularly in Asia and Africa, but (call it ignorance) I was unaware that this practice was present in my beloved Ghana.

For those of you who aren't aware of what FGM is, it is the practice of female circumcision which often includes the removal of the clitoris and the removal of the outer and/or the inner labia. This usually occurs at a very young age with the consent of the female's parents/ guardians. It is supposedly carried out for religious/ cultural reasons.

Firstly, looking at the physical aspect of this, it is not safe. This isn't carried out in a sanitary hospital somewhere, but usually in the home of the older female who performs the procedure. In many communities this older female is held in high regard because of the work she does. Excessive bleeding is the norm with risks of serious infection and in the very worst cases, death occurs. Some forms of FGM (infibulation) involve stitching the vaginal opening closed with only a tiny hole left for the expulsion of menstrual blood. In these cases, the usual risks of childbirth are greatly heightened along with the risk of suffocation of babies in the womb. I feel squeamish even thinking about some of these things.

Now FGM occurs for various reasons but one of the the main ones is to reduce the "plague" of female promiscuity. Because clearly when a woman has sex she has sex by herself and the men sleeping with her to put her at risk of being labelled "promiscuous" have nothing to do with it . There are no proven health benefits for FGM and the fact that this practice still goes on (despite being banned by several countries) can only be described as barbaric. I don't care who I offend but there can be no possible rationalisation for this.

Going back to FGM in Ghana, we have one of the lowest rates of FGM in African. However, the 9-15% rate is still far too high imho. It should be zero. FGM is almost non-existent in southern Ghana and more likely to be found in the North among the Frafra, the Kassena, the Kussasi etc. Whilst looking for more information on FGM in Ghana, I came across this:
"The practice among some groups in Ghana appears to have few spiritual roots. It is not perpetuated by religion, but rather by traditional tribal beliefs. Some believe it leads to cleanliness and fidelity of the woman. Others believe it will increase fertility and prevent the death of first-born babies. It is also seen as a way to suppress a woman’s sexual desires and make her less promiscuous. Other common beliefs are that children born to uncircumcised women are stubborn and troublesome and more likely to be blinded or otherwise damaged if the mother’s clitoris touches them during birth. In some areas the presence of a clitoris in women suggests she is a man and must be buried in men’s clothing and the funeral performed as a man’s when she dies. Uncircumcised women are regarded by some as unclean, less attractive and less desirable for marriage."
Source

Now as I said previously, I was unaware whilst growing up that things like this occurred in Ghana. Was I being hopelessly naive? To Ghana's credit, she has been one of the most proactive countries in eliminating FGM and has actually arrested people for violating the ban put in place against FGM. One of our neighbours, Burkina Faso, with an almost 70% rate of FGM in women, has begun construction of a "Pleasure hospital" where surgical reconstruction will be carried out on victims of FGM. It's encouraging to see that in our part of Africa, at least, something is being done about this practice.

I'm not trying to write a whole essay here but I was just wondering if I was alone in my (incorrect) belief that FGM was not a part of Ghana? Has anybody had any experiences or know of the way in which FGM is perceived in Ghana (or anywhere else in Africa)?


There is lots of information about FGM on the web, in libraries etc. If anybody is interested in a more personal account of an issue that affects over 130 million women worldwide, Somalian supermodel Waris Dirie's book Desert Flower is a good read.

On Good Friday, a good friend of mine had a dinner party. Imagine the scene...young Ghanaian girl, Sierra Leonian, a Yoruba girl and an Igbo...an Igbo guy and three Yoruba. Now before you jump down my throat (about racism, or tribalism or WOTEVA!) I'm giving you a bit of background to lay the scene and inform what I'm gonna say later...

Some seriously good white wine and Fanta gets to flowing and being African students of politics, (for the most part) converstaion gets loud and argumentative. The topic was a bit of a mistake, I grant the Yoruba boy who brought it up didn't quite mean what he implied...OH WELL! What are students of politics if not eager pirahna's waiting to attack ignorant statements? So....hmmm, I'll call him Yinka...comments that the laws in the UK are too strict, for instance in the UK an man cannot slap his wife.

Poor Yinka! Myself, Teresa (Sierra Leonian), Nneka (Igbo) and Abiola (Yoruba) were the only other people in there at the time and being a room full of girls the horror in the air was palatable. Cries of 'ehhhhhh, so WHERE are you free to slap your wife?', 'Wife beater, wife beater!!!!!' (That was Nneka, quite enjoying making Yink squirm) filled the air and bless his heart we offered no way out for him and annihilated him as was our right, nay, our duty even.

Then enter the boys, Abimbola (Yoruba), Jide (Yoruba) and Chidi (Igbo). Chidi is aghast, 'I would never, NEVER slap my wife? What could you possibly mean? Have you run mad?' (A this point I sincerely wish I could accent this for you, but I can't write it...linguists? Help any one?). Anyhoo, while Yinka is still digging himself deeper trying to get out of his hole (much to mine and Nneka's glee) Jide decides to play devils advocate...'WHAT IF...what if...your wife slapped your mother?'

Now, myself and my girlfriends are still keeping up the righteous indigniton...like seriously sha, my husband will see fire if he abuses me! But all of a sudden Chidi is unsure and is backing down, like well, I don't know. Jide says seriously, the woman deserves a slap because that's his mother, but we are adamant, she's your wife. You get married and she should come above everyone else. Jide says 'No way! My mother gave me my values, you disrespect my mother you disrespect ME-slap her!'

This argument carried on into the night....or at least until people withdrew sullenly into their respective corners, each convinced they're right (why can Africans never debate like normal people it's always a fight!), but you get the general jist. But I'm still convinced I'm right! (lol) But I'm interested by the polar responses this evokes, so i throw the floor open, what says you?