(This was written about a month ago in the run up to my sister's wedding...I'm only really now getting the chance to post...there will be a few of these. Soz)

Sankofa has always (well at least ever since I have known her) made it very clear that a big church wedding and the surrounding bru-ha-ha is not for her. And I think there have always been parts of me that agree with this stance; but still I cling to (my?) dreams of a big white wedding. Perfect in every way. With me and the hubby smiling at the fore.

As one of those children who seemed to always fall into the (mis)fortune of being a flower girl, I thought I had seen it all, in terms of the tears, tantrums and abject misery that are behind the scenes of some of the weddings I have been involved in.

However, as an adult what you see is WORSE. My sister is in the process of organising her wedding. She and her hubby-to-be thought it would be a bright idea to get married in KUMASI (Ashanti region, Ghana)...even though her and her hubby are based in EDINBURGH...mum lives in LONDON. Well...all I can say is they had a dream. Hmmmm...good luck to them! We are finally in Kumasi with two weeks to go; hubby to be is still not here. At this point, I'd sooner pack up and head home. It's the biggest nightmare you could imagine. I'm talking a cold war between the parental units, an overly determined wedding planner with illusions of grandeur, the rainy season, a travel agent under investigation for fraud and underselling tickets, wedding invitations which do not name the groom spelt correctly, bridesmaid dresses having to be re-done, flower girls BY FORCE, big dreams and an ever decreasing pot of money...oh...and money grabbing distant relatives. JOY. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. And I would like to throttle the sister. She keeps crying. It's doing my head in. I'd like to slap her. HARD. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

By this point I'm in such firm agreement with Sankofa. Allow this long nonsense. I'm having a registry wedding. KMFT.

I am back in Ghana for the first time in 6 years. This is my second ever visit and it feels so different coming back. It's funny that coming here aged 18 I was really impressed by my country. I think being born and raised in the UK, my family back home expected me to be wholly underwhelmed. People hyped up Ghana's negatives in an attempt to make the country seem better to me than they had advertised it to be. It seemed to me to be a ploy. A rather perverse way to make me fall in love with my heritage.

This strategy was misguided to say the least. I was more than ready to love Ghana. Contrary to popular belief (in Ghana), many of us abrokyirefuo enkola are more than ready to embrace the country of our parents. It helps give a sense of identity when living in a country (like the UK) where people forever ask 'where are you really from?'.

This return journey however sees me in a much different mood. I'm in Accra for a few days (which to me equals me being lost! Being from a pure Kumasiano family--don't judge me :P) am I'm taking a better look than the fleeting glance of a few years back.

All of a sudden I am not so impressed. It's like looking at a beautiful picture with cracks in it. As I've grown older I think I have become more and more invested in being a Ghanaian. I am emotionally invested in our sport (as you can tell), politics, language and culture. But the more invested I am, the more pain I seem to feel. It's like watching a child with 'so much potential' hit 30...and all that they have achieved is the title of 'the former child with so much potential'.

Arguments that diasporian Ghanaians should come 'back home' and set to rights their country have always erked me. Firstly, because in many ways for people like me it is no more 'coming home' that it is for any random African-American. It's just not really home. You see, you can never mistake home, love it or hate it there are particular emotions linked to the idea of home that separate diasporians from our 'home-grown' counterparts. Secondly, I think it is somewhat disrespectful to barge in and take over what you don't know. Who am I as a diasporian to Waltz in and decide my way is better? There is much to be said for local knowledge. It's priceless.

Nonetheless, I feel disappointed somehow in Ghana. There is a lot to be done and I feel like the country has stagnated. But there is also much to be hopeful for. There is a generation emerging who want to make a change; I want to be a part of that somehow. I need to find my place in helping to get it all done.

I am hoping to travel to Ghana in the next month with my family. This is a well and eagerly waited-for trip, and I can't wait to be outta here and sunning myself in the GH! So, I wanted to look at some pics of the ol' homeland and typed in a few areas I am interested in visiting and revisiting, you know, Accra, Kumasi, Koforidua (shout out to my homegirl Sankofa) and from Wikipedia came the link, www.mygardencity.com, billed as community platform for Ashanti region. And I say 'cool, interesting'. So I'm scanning, Opoku Nti for Asante Kotoko - and I say 'cool', Majid did not finger me-Nadia - cool, eliminating child labour, the success story - great! power cuts annoying Ghanaians - 'pff, understatement' and I laugh hahahhahahah- huh? wait wait wait REEEEWIIIND back to Majid did not finger me ...
and I say... WoW

OK, enough of that, back to work.

Yes, yes, yes! I am a football addict. FACT. There. I said it.

It seems that the earlier posted epic day is becoming a 'day' in bible terms, (i.e who knows how much time it actually measures?)
Ghana is still on top, 3rd african team to reach the final eight in history and the only this world cup!!!!!! Saturday was a good day but then...Sunday came, wow Engurland boi - I actually feel sorry for them because if Lampard's goal had been allowed I think it would have been a different game, the ref is a twat, sorry boys.
Anyway it was not easy but I have decided to pick myself up and start the vigil for Ghana - South America what? Uruguay who? We got the fans to do it and the soccer to play it so COME ON BLACK STARRRSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

Also I LOVED the 'I am Ghana' thing, wicked!

I love World Cup years! I love the fact that there is football, tennis, F1, all packed into one very small time frame. Sorry for those of you who don't like football but the World Cup is the biggest sporting event in the world AND I LOVE IT. I have been glued to pretty much all the group phase games...particularly for my beloved countries GHANA and ENGLAND! My nation of birth and my heritage; I just have to rep both to the fullest!

For those of you not yet acquainted with the beautiful Nneka, get to know! This Nigerian-German songstress has been making moves for a while now and this is one of my favourite songs off her debut album "Concrete Jungle" (or "No Longer At Ease" as it was earlier known). I'm in a fighting mood today so I'm going to let Nneka provide the soundtrack to my week. Enjoy this live performance from Letterman.

"And now the world is asleep
How will you ever wake her up when she is deep in her dreams, wishing
And yet so many die
And still we think that it is all about us
It's all about you
You sold your soul to the evil and the lust
And the passion and the money and you
See the same ones die, people hunger for decades
Suffer under civilized armed robbers, modern slaveholders"