"No Uncle!"

Why is it that some men feel no way about harassing you in public? I can't even begin to count the number of times I have been happily minding my own business on the bus or walking down the street for someone's uncle to approach me and ruin my day. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't mind giving you the time of day if you didn't look like you were my dad's senior in school, or if your chat up line wasn't knackered and over-played. Yet, it be oga who get big bele who dey wan mek i talk to him. (Don't laugh at my pidgin!)
I remember being on Welling high street, with two friends, when a man driving by, who really should have been concentrating on the road, decided to slow down and beep at us. One of my friends turned around and waved. "Hi, uncle!" she shouted. I was thinking "yes! we are getting a lift home!". But when she turned around, I could see from her face, which showed nothing less than pure disgust, that it wasn't a trusted family member. I was in stitches when I realised it was her way of reminding 'uncle' that he has a wife and children to go home to.
Seriously, is this a new trend? Or have the older generation always thought it appropriate to harass girls two to three decades their junior? What kills me is the confidence with which these men step to you with.

Just for laughs here is a list of the top 5 chat- up lines uncles have tried (but have miserably failed) to entice me with.

5. Have we met before?/ Do I know you from somewhere?
4. Excuse me, is your name Yinka?
3. Give me your number so I can call you later. (seriously! no "excuse me" or anything!)
2. Are you ghanaian/ nigerian?
1. Excuse me fine girl, I want to be your friend.

And as you have guessed, my response is always "no uncle".


4 opinionated people have something to say:

Nsoromma...Child of the Heavens said...

Afrocentric it's NOT new i'm afraid...I've been well informed by two older generations that they also had to suffer this nasty filth. Tis a shame that since it is legal I'm sure my daughters shall suffer it too! And let's not leave our old yardie men out of it too, not quite uncles as I see it...what are they? Any-hoo, I remember once being in my school uniform hanging out after school with a few mates when I was in yr 9 or 10. Good old Granville (I guess at his name, fits him well, could well have been called Barrington...also fits) calls out to us in Brickie (Brixton). I shudder and walk on...but alas he waves past my mates and calls out 'No, No, you gyal, sweet darkie gyal. Sugar you look like no man fi touch ya at ALL! Yuh 16 yet?!'....Ummm, what do you say to that?

Anonymous said...

OMG!!! that is wrong! "yuh 16 yet?" - he is barely keeping within the law.

Nsoromma...Child of the Heavens said...

Yes, evidently doesn't want to get done for paedophilia. Small mercies right?

Anonymous said...

I think there are always going to be those dirty old men trying it. I think it is an ego boost for them - getting a young chic on their arm.

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