Would you ever get married to someone outside of your race? Or perhaps, outside of your nationality? Would you marry somebody who is not of the same faith as you? A conversation with a (yoruba) friend of mine got me thinking long and hard on this issue. I asked her if she would ever consider dating an Igbo man, the fiery response I got back was "God forbid! Olorun maje!". (Please forgive me, my nigerian friends if the spelling is wrong) Now I don't exactly know the politics between the different tribes in Naija but I can tell you that sister girl was not looking to get too up close and personal with any man whose name doesn't begin with Ola...or Tola... or Bola... or end in ...femi or ...yemi or ...kemi.
When Sankofa wrote in an earlier post that one of us was given the choice of "doing a masters or getting married" she was referring to me. 'The choice' was my 22nd birthday present from my dad. (Can you imagine?) What you may not know my friend is that when father dearest offered me this choice, he was talking about bringing someone home whose family originate from within the borders of our homeland Ghana. Really dad? Even in one of the most multicultural cities ever?!!! And you can also safely assume that the future Mr. Afrocentric will have to have an impressive c.v. So you see, that does not really leave me with much of a choice.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I will get Jungle Fever and date a white man in the name of breaking social barriers, but I am calling into question our reasons for getting into a relationship with someone. Is it based on ethnicity? Race? Or how many random letters come after his name?
Let me take a moment to answer the questions I threw out in the beginning. Would I marry outside of my nationality? Yes...but within reason. sorry. Somebody of a different faith? Hell no! Of a different race? Mmm...I have to be honest, even after this long blog post I still can't answer that question with confidence. OK...let's see...perhaps... if I ever get Jungle Fever.
2 opinionated people have something to say:
I would marry outside of my nationality and out of my race but not out of my religion. I feel the other things are pretty much surface issues but religion, to me, isn't. In an ideal world I would like to fall in love with somebody from my country and my race, but only because I feel it would make things a little easier if you had certain things in common with your partner. However, on that same note, I do think people should not be so close-minded and accept that one can find a decent relationship anywhere. But religion is still something I will not bend on.
Still haven't gotten over your dad! LMAO
I don't think you can blame people for their fear of dating outside of their racial or tribal lines. ESPECIALLY with all the horror stories you hear...'she wanted me to bow to her? Is she nuts?' 'He gave my Dad a thumbs up, he was gonna box him', etc. But all it takes is some work and dedication. As with all other relationships, no?
Marrying into your faith is important (at least to me, feel free to disagree), because your faith underpins EVRRYTHING you do, how you raise your kids, even how much your national culture affects you. I think a couple should have at least one strong base on which their relationship stands, which they are true to individually and as a coupl, and I think where people have one it should be their faith.
Post a Comment