Do What You Say You Will Do...

You know, I think learning to forgive is one of the hardest things we can do but what tops it a ga-zillion times over is just getting over it. Maaaan, that really is one of the things I struggle with and it's really sad because whatever it is you are refusing to get over is only blocking YOU!

This little grain of wisdom has been told to me in a number of ways including my big sis screaming it at me on one occasion. She said that when I recount stories from the past my emotions at the time come to the surface and it is obvious that I haven't really dealt with whatever the issue was. Up until now my take on this was always deny, deny, DENY. But how can I continue to argue with the truth when it's killing me inside?

There are so many people who I'm sure need an apology from me for fuckeries i've done to them, or that they feel I have done. It's inevitable, as inevitable as the fact that I feel I need certain apologies in order to move on with my life. Today, I've been a bit quiet, just thinking...a lot (ladies, u know how dangerous that can be!). For anyone who knows who Nsoromma is, who I have honestly offended, I hope to God that you know I'm sorry. But more than that I do truly hope that these people can move on and whatever it was does not block their growth into the beautiful person God intended them to be. In the same way, though it's bloody hard and I know there will still be days I cry, i'm going to finally do what I say i will do and let it all go.

I hope that everyone else can do the same,

Love You All,
Nsoromma...COTH xXx


6 opinionated people have something to say:

Abena said...

what a sweet post!
holding a grudge is really such a burden. an old teacher of mine likened it to carry a goat..pleeease don't ask how the two are linked, it's too long to go into lol but basically you're carrying a burden that's not yours to carry while the person you're upset with is probably soo not bothered lol.

Esi W. Cleland said...

lol@fuckeries. hehe. I forgive you:)

Sankofa said...

Excellent decision! As my oh-so-wise father says to me all the time: "bitterness is like swallowing poison and expecting somebody else to die". Being angry/ bitter only hurts YOU. Stress is a killer man. Good luck w/ letting go. You know I'm always here if you need help :-D

Nsoromma...Child of the Heavens said...

@ Abena - Goat eh? LOOOOOOOOOOOOOL, ur teacher had jokes.

@Esi - Fuckeries is such a standard part of my vocab these days, I forget other people find it funny! Lols

Thanx for the support Sankofa! I'm here 4 u too :D

Afrocentric said...

I feel you 100% girl. You may tell people you're fine and you're over it, but deep down you're still holding onto the hurt. It's something I am working on too. You're not alone.

Friday's Afro said...

It's always the killer when you're spending your nights thinking of elaborate ways to make sure that person knows you're vex ( " next time I see her I'm gonna say could he do that...that was SO rude..." etc) but you KNOW that person doesn't care anymore or might have even forgotten and will smile as normal that next time, chale, you berra just lerrit go, its probably biblical as well.
Annoying tho' innit!?

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